I Lashed Out of My Husband’s Girlfriend!

I have been separated for four years, and everybody wants to know why do they have to listen to my whining about my husband having a girlfriend.

Everybody thinks I should have moved on by now. Four years later I am barely coming to grips that he can’t love me and just found out that he had to prove I was no longer living with him before she would date him.  All this is new to me, so guess what. I am barely mourning the death of my marriage. Delayed, I guess, if someone could tell me how to turn it off, I will.

I’m renting a room for $200 a month from my husband but the catch is that I have to witness him as he has moved on with his life. He has a younger more  Asian girlfriend who doesn’t care that he sleeps around.

He has bugged me because he feels we should all be able to sit down and have dinner together. Yeah, poor girlfriend feels neglected because she can’t come over. Did I remind you that we’re still legally married? Just checking.  Yeah, he is my husband.

Later that day, my husband brings me his phone to show me something and lo and behold she is his wallpaper on his phone. My stomach dropped and I felt this fire in the pit of my stomach. Ever heard the phrase, “I saw red!” Oh yeah, I swear I was in hell.

He started apologizing, but I was pissed and finally got on my Facebook and sent her a message.

“Sad is the woman whose mother never taught her to respect other women and especially herself by never sleeping with a married man. You feel you won, but what did you lose, other married women’s trust, your morals, your dignity as a lady, your character, values and decency as a human. Oh but dont feel bad, you won the label “Homewrecking Whore” and  a lifelong brick in your gut that he left an over 30 year marriage for you, so you won a man whose values of loyalty and commitment is not in his nature. You will never be the onlybone, this i promise you.  Oh yeah, he never left the marriage because he’s still married four years later. Let’s not forget he didn’t care that you threatened to leave him if he let me move back in. I’m still here.

I continued, …”even if you try to justify your actions because he says I am a crazy bitch who is sick and doesn’t love me. He is right,  loving a cheater who can’t love anyone made me this way. I’m sure you know the feeling since he labels you as the crazy smothering bitch who he doesn’t love to me all the time.  And only took you back because of your persistance since you are part of his friends circle, he felt obligated. I’m not saying he is right, just what he says behind your back to ALL of us in this house. Let’s not forget “Homewrecking Whore”. Oh yeah, “Alcoholic annoying lush” is the other…”

He is with her now, so will he be mad when he gets home? Oh yes, darn me I keep blowing his cover. And her, poor thing she will call him back to back because her lovers wife lashed out on her.

Such a pity that she go through all this because she says there are no good quality single men out there.

Uh, ok so she settles for a married man that she feels has potential. Not the brightest girl…

Wait! Places Give Senior Discounts at 50+!

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Wait! These Places Give Senior Discounts at 50+!!

Who says getting older has no perks. If you are 50 and over, many places consider you a senior.

I will never forget driving to a friend’s house and I was sitting there at a red light and I saw a big banner at City Hall, “Senior Christmas Dinner…blah blah…(I have no idea what came in the middle but then saw)…FIFTY AND OVER! It was like someone slapped me then ran away!! How dare they! I felt my blood pressure go up, literally. Confounded, rude… Me? I am 50, are they calling me a…S-E-N-I-O-R… I Couldn’t finish the sentence. HOW DARE THEY! To say I was insulted was an understatement! There was no number so I could call to complain.

But wait, I sat there settling down. Senior? A different thought came over me and it was like a mirror was put in front of me and I thought, HOT DAMN! I have to be the hottest senior EVER! And I imagined myself at that party in a red sequined dress and stilettos that looked like Dorothy’s in the Wizard of Oz…but way hotter!

But wait again, I thought! That means AARP and other discounts. Woo hoo! It pays to get old.  I started looking into the many companies that offer discounts and some start offering them by 50 years old.  So stop cursing those grays that grow out faster than you can pluck, and parts of you that gravity keeps tugging at and rejoice in this list that gets better as we age. Enjoy!

Amtrak, 62+ get 15% off.

Applebees, 55+ get 5-15%.

Goodwill, 55+ get 20% off.

Denny’s, Has a special menu for 55+ and extra savings if you are an AARP member.

Dunkin Donuts, AARP members get a free donut when they buy a large coffee.

Dress Barn, 62+ get 10% on Tuesdays or Wednesdays…Each store has different days.

Kohls, 55+ get 15% off on Wednesdays.

IHOP, at 55+ get a discount on pancakes, eggs and French toast.

Michael’s, 55+ get 10%.

Movies, AMC is 60+, Cinemark 62+ offer Monday discounts, Regal AARP members get $5.50 gets you a soft drink and popcorn!

National Parks, 62+ pay $10 for a lifetime pass for up to four adults-or a carload of people-free admission to more than $2,000 National Parks. http://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/slideshows/the-10-most-visited-national-parks

Outback Steakhouse, AARP members get 15% off.

Rentals, Budget Rent a Truck, AARP members get 20% off on Sunday through Thursday or 10% on Friday and Saturday. Or 25% off car rentals. Hertz, Alamo and National up to 30% off!

Ross, 55+ get 10% on Tuesday.

Teleflora Flowers, AARP members get 20% off.

Verizon 65 Plus Plan, $29.99 offers 200 anytime minutes.

Some Wendy’s.

Rite Aid, 65+ get special discounts for nonprescription items.

But wait! There’s more ways to keep saving.

Sciddy app, locates senior discounts in most areas.

Seniordiscounts.com, is a site that finds discounts in your area. When I tried it, it pulled up places in other states.  That is ok, because it also found the senior discounts in my area.  Age restrictions on some.

Go back to school, this article explains ways to get great deals, http://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/articles/2015/09/08/6-tips-for-going-back-to-school-in-retirement

AARP, 50+ for $16.99 a year is a great investment for many discounts.  https://join.aarp.org/

Waiting To Heal From Divorce?

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Remember Why You are Apart

Waiting To Heal From Divorce?

Do you find yourself asking when will I stop hurting? I asked for 30 years, I still catch myself asking. I find myself irritated, why does it bug me that he is dating when he seems like life is peaches and orgasms. Why was he able to move on so easily? Then it can escalate, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!

Then it occurs to me.

Oh yeah, I got married because to me it was true love…

Oh yeah, I have some values and virtue and I’m selective and not going to just jump in the sack with the first Joe Schmo that says, “Do you work at Subway, cause you just gave me a foot long!”

And I’d be, Oh my God, I just gave a man an erection! It must be true love!

Puleeeze!

Oh yeah, then I remember he was a horrible husband and I was MISERABLE!!

And I smile and go about my day!

I’m Renting a Room At My Ex’s Home!

I'm Renting a Room From My ExBelieve it!  I last left off blogging about my depression because for three years I have rent rooms, going back to mom’s.  I have been here and there and even stayed random nights at friends houses.  How I longed for that feeling you get after a long day at work and you just kick off your shoes and flop on the couch…HOME…That feeling was a big void for three years.  Some conditions I lived in were so deplorable but at my pay and with my bills that was all I could afford.

When my ex told me I could rent a room at his home AND MY KIDS LIVE THERE, I said yes faster than he could finish his sentence.

EVERYONE’S CONCERN: Could I stay detached whilst I stayed under the same roof with the man who told me to my face he just didn’t love me anymore and ridiculed me as I cried?  Could I handle the fact that he still does not want me and will be dating and even bringing women home? Would  all the old arguing and fighting we used to do start-up again and mess up their happy home?

I would lie if I were to say that it won’t bother me if he struts in with this woman and see interest in his eyes for her, being sweet and acting like a teenager head over heels. Interest that he was not able to find in me but so easily pours it out to someone else. Yeah, I know there will be pain. I know there will be no scene, instead I will accept defeat and peacefully move out as soon as I could.

This is not my thought process, I am not allowing it to be.  I looked him straight in the eye and said, as long as you can allow me the same privilege that this is my house too and I will respectfully date and only bring someone home if it is not just booty call. What he told me next blew me away.

He said that he was the man he was today because of me.  I was the one that fixed his teeth, got him to stop drinking, took care of his Cancer (I forget what else) and he said thank you.  Now it was his turn to pay me back by giving me a place to call home, that it was my home too for as long as I wanted to live there as long as we could get along.

He went on to say that he has only three people he cares about and that is his kids and me, we are all the family he has left and he would do all he could because I deserve it.

I could not stop the tears as I told him that I lived this house and it was hard moving out yet it feels like I never left.  Being able to see my kids everyday, having my dog run and greet me as I get home. Having noise in the house…

I don’t know what the future brings, I know he has never been able to love me like a man loves a woman and that hurts my ego more.  So I know there would never be another us, he killed my heart the day he told me he was done and had someone else.  I see how he treats the girl he was dating now.  He got bored and wants new meat.  That is not what I want for myself.

So this is a new adventure for me in learning life lessons.  This is the ultimate test in forgiveness, acceptance and most of all jealousy.  This is my ultimate step in moving on and seeing him do it will kindle that spark in me to take a chance out there.  I am young, attractive and have a lot to offer.

Maybe IT IS time to stop feeling like I am unlovable and see what is out there again.  It is a scary feeling but it would be nice to have those butterflies over a man again.

For now, home is where mama is!

No Apology, Who Cares I Can Still Heal!

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The apologies that never comes

Oh if only he would repent for effing around with that two bit ho from across the street after you gave your life to him and put him through college. Just a little remorse would soften the blow.

Maybe he spent your life’s savings. Or Made you the laughing stock of the family. Or worse he hurt you physically so bad and made it so public.

The worst apologies are the ones that never come but do you know those are the most necessary ones.

Always remember we forgive those apologies the most, the ones that never come. We forgive for us because we need to heal. We forgive because we need to release resentment.

Those are the apologies we need to forgive the most.

When You Think Nobody Will Ever Compare to Your Ex


So you are back to dating, yet you find yourself comparing or looking for someone like your ex.

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Nothing Compares To You

There is a reason why you feel nobody measures up to your ex.

You are not quite ready to date.

What is the solution you ask? Good question!

First of all it depends how long you have been single. The healing process timeline is different for everyone, but if you find yourself still rejecting everyone because he doesn’t look the way you want in the last thing you bought your ex, a Bee Gees concert t-shirt you bought back in 1983, we have an issue.

You need to read up on my Disengage and Let Go category because chickee he is not your man anymore so let it go! So this type of person has an assignment. Learning to let go, move on, bury the corpse…IT’S DEAD!

On the opposite side of the scale we have the newly divorcee that is trying to numb the pain with a man. For you, your assignment is to feel your pain. Allow yourself to grieve completely or else you will be dating on the rebound. There is no rush, relax and heal before moving on.

Then we have the kinda similar to the stuck in the past person. Ask yourself who do you miss? What you wish he was like or what he used to be like. I’m sure you were on your best behavior when you met him. Probably didn’t poop in the same house for months.  Guess what, so was he.

You need to remember reality like uh, you are not together. Uh, maybe he remarried. What is the truth of the situation? Well then time to get him off the pedestal and realize it’s over and maybe you are living in wish land.

Dating is harder for some especially if your mind is on the ex. Let it go and move on.