2.9.13 How To Break Your Rage Before It Breaks You
Anger…oh buddy. Ok now here is one that Catalina was plum done with and sure nuff its head popped up again! I do reckon we need to visit it again.
That ol’ monster that lives in our belly and just sits there then starts eating at you something fierce when you get really ticked off and you know who we are ticked off at right? Yuppie, that piece of shit ex!!! Whoops, I mean, your ex.
Boy that anger, rage, being pissed off at that piece of shit-no good-excuse of a bleep bleep.
Let’s move on.
I guess this is more for those of us who have been jilted, betrayed, left, hearts broken. You get the picture.
Question is how do we get past this?
First and foremost, we do not want to do anything to jeopardize our freedom like slashing tires, busting windows, assaulting anyone or destroying any property.
Even harassing phone calls are a no-no and are considered terrorist threats. No bugging him at all. In fact, let’s leave the piece of shit, I mean, the ex, alone for now. We have some healing to do.
The longer we live in this anger, the longer we live in this anger. No I’m not sputtering. Don’t keep feeding your fire!
If you keep focusing on your anger, it will stay in the limelight, but if you focus on getting over your anger, then that is going to come on stage and push the anger off. Then that will be in the limelight!
Aha the new star of the show!!
I promise your anger will start to subside, but you have to be patient grasshopper. So put away that axe and let’s get to work.
Ok were going keep calling the ex “piece of shit”, I dunno it kinda has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
Because for now I’m going to encourage your anger, and why not?He is a piece if shit that hurt you so he deserves it, and hey it makes me feel good saying so why not.
Anyways, I’m sure by now you’ve said what you’ve had to say to the piece of shit till you’re blue in the face, right?
In one ear out the other, right? He’s an ass, what do you expect, right? Ok, so we are on the same page. So do we agree that going to him with your pain and anger is fruitless? Yeah, and I’m telling you now his insensitivity probably will create more anger and we don’t need that. So this is not the route we will be going.
What you need is somewhere you will not be disturbed for at least an hour.
You need lots of writing paper and a couple good writing pens. In case one stops working. And a watch.
Here is your first assignment.
- Write why are you angry.
- What are the stupid despicable hurtful deceitful insensitive things he did to make you this mad. Let it flow from the pit of your stomach through your arm to your hands out your fingers to the pen and spill out all over the paper freely. The hell with grammar, don’t stop, don’t go back to read, just write for at least 15 minutes.
- GOOD. Now using the same method, I want you to write what his behavior, his actions made you feel, how it hurt you. Yes hurt! Forget the anger now, because before the anger there was pain that led to it. Remember it and let it out on paper. Let it flow. GET IT OUT!!!
Done? Now you don’t think we are going to mail it to piece of shit do you? No love this writing was a release for you only. Remember he’d use it to wipe his butt with. That’s why repeat after me, “he’s a piece of shit”
As I said this was to get all that junk out of your head, your gut and your heart and put it on paper and symbolically remove it from you. We have to release it now, ok?
It’s the beginning of it. We can’t let that man and what he did or didn’t do continue to rule your mind and your life. We want it gone.
4. We put our paper in a fire safe place like sink or dirt patch or barbecue and we burn it and we say good-bye anger! Now it’s time to rise above it!
5. Ok, now this part is going to be hard to comprehend, the piece of shit will no longer be a piece of shit. He gets to have his name back. Because guess what. We are only at the bottom of the mountain looking up preparing for the biggest fight of all, and it’s called forgiveness.
Now, now don’t be pointing that axe at me and let me explain. You are not forgiving him for his sake, it’s for your healing. That rage, that anger will not go away until you do.
Forgiving does not mean you condone what he did nor do you Eben have to tell him, this is between you and God, Buddah, your priest, or even your friends or cat, but it has to vacate your body because it’s poison. You think it is hurting him? Heck no! You are the only one suffering!
Do you want to be those bitter old women that hate men or do you want to be a woman with peace in her heart. It’s up to you. You could stop reading right now. your choice.
I promise you the gift of serenity if you follow my journey. But I promise you lots of pain and hard work with a gift at the end. Or you can do no worries and have all that pain, bitterness, till eternity. You choose
Oh! you’re still here..good grasshopper
Step 2. For 2 weeks (Or for some it may take longer, some much longer, we can’t put a time table on our healing)
1.Every morning and every night we are going to set aside some quiet time (about half an hour when no one will disturb you. Find a peaceful place in your home with a mirror, maybe light a candle.)
2. Sit in front of a mirror and look deep into your eyes, really look into the pupil of your eyes.
- 3. Repeat after me, I completely forgive (his name his real name) for hurting me and wish him well. Say this ten times while looking deep in to your eyes and really really mean it.
Not feeling it? That’s ok, do it anyways…heard the saying fake it till you make it…there you go. Do this for 2 weeks…
As I mentioned before this is for you. Anger will eat you alive, it will keep you from happiness, it will consume you. What he did or didn’t do, it is beyond our control, LET IT GO and like I said, the only way to do this is to forgive him not because he deserves, but because you deserve peace in your heart, finally.
There is an old saying that goes, “Forgiveness is like letting a prisoner go free and only to discover that the prisoner was you all along”
Isn’t it time to free yourself from that anger?
Remember forgiving them doesn’t mean that you need to start hanging with them and make them part of your life. it’s a gift you are giving yourself to help you heal.
Forgiveness is the best gift you can ever give yourself….