Mad at My Ex!!

Mad at My Ex!!! 2.21.13

You may say Catalina talks like life is all about peaches and orgasms…rainbows and unicorns. There are days my friend that all my pep, all my ha ha the pain away, all that positive self talk…just don’t cut it! There are some situations where forgiveness is just not something you don’t want to do. There are some days where you sadness is so deep that is just something nothing can pull you out of at this time. And rage, oh man there are times you just can’t clear that red from your eyeballs cause that is all you see no matter how much you wipe your eyes. There are days you get so mad you become like the Incredible Hulk!!

I am human, you are human, I may throw a hamper full of clothes across the room out of sheer anger!! Yeah I do that!! I am here to say that I fail a lot at my own suggestions and advice, there are times where I fail cause I just don’t give a damn cause I want to be mad at my ex and at that time I am so mad I don’t feel he deserves my forgiveness and yes I want to continue call him a piece of shit!! And we say now what! Did we just throw everything out the window. Who is Catalina to give advice on forgiveness because she just text a nasty message to her ex…YES I DID AND IT WAS MEAN AND NASTY!!! So should I put away my laptop and give up my passion for writing and realize my journey through becoming Single and Independent just took a turn off a cliff and I went off it head first and plopped down face into a pile of mud. NO!!

This is where you have just helped me help you to help me!! Ha Ha!! Its only sounds confusing. I am venting!! I was so angry over something with “him” and that anger turned into something that made me so depressed and I was in tears and then I started having negative thoughts….ALL THINGS THAT I SAY NOT TO DO!!!! I was doing and I had the tools to stop but didn’t, couldn’t at the time because they felt too strong. So I vent, call a friend, write, type, START A BLOG…but don’t be my competition…grrrr I feel myself turning green again, don’t make me mad…you won’t like me when I’m mad!!!

I continue to experience pain with my joy and am still learning. In fact this very blog I am writing right this very second is a vent because I am mad as hell and as I have reached the end….ahhhhh. I really do feel better. I don’t want it to stay inside of me because it’s like a cancer…release!! As Louise Hay quoted, we create our own experiences and I have to remind myself, fine I acted like a monster, but I don’t have to stay here for long, I could take the monster mask off and get back on track just as fast as I got there.


  1. reocochran says:

    I feel your rage and raise it!


    1. I raise it, get it out of my system and move on. I don’t let it rack my body like a poison anymore. Thank you for the support love!


  2. thejazzywalk says:

    I get you! Been there too. I hope it encourages you to know how NORMAL you are! Anger is a normal part of the grieving and healing process. You won’t always feel this way 🙂


    1. That’s right, my green moments are getting less and less. I used to have to do a lot of apologizing to my daughter. But becoming aware of where it was coming from helped because I knew not to take it out on the innocent ones..HER…cause she was the one around…I so love that you are reading my blogs. Thank you so much!!!


  3. veronicoons says:

    Vent! We all need to! Don’t keep it in–it turns to everything ugly. I used to have days I just wanted to crawl to the back of my closet and hide from the world, and I had days when I propelled myself through the hard long day in a simmering rage. You eventually cool down, and you find your own new normal.


    1. I had to learn to find healthy ways to vent my anger, writing, exercising…and more exercising. Healthy ways because I knew if I held it in it would come out in depression or it would explode later on. So lucky to be writing and to have strong women like all of you…thank you


  4. Carolyn says:

    Let it out! You’re right, it IS a cancer!


    1. Yeah I am such a Louise Hay fan, I worked worked worked right away to release that anger and let that Cancer out of my body! Thank you Carolyn…you are beautiful!


  5. beetleypete says:

    Thanks for the like on my post. My advice? Forget the anger and nastiness. It gets you nowhere, and you need to move on. Regards, Pete, England.


    1. Pete that is the best advice ever. Anger is a Cancer that will eat at us. Oh wow England…Love it!!


  6. Solving Maria says:

    Letting it out in word is a healthy way to process. Reading your post has justified many of my feelings. Keep up the good word. Because it is WORK.


    1. Hi Maria, I just emailed you, I am new to this and see that we have so much in common and would love to follow you as you and I go through this journey together. But now I see you have solved my problem. Yay!!


  7. Great blog. The good news is that this is now… your EX, so you can create a new life for yourself, one that you deserve. Thank you for liking our beauty store posts.


    1. I only liked it because there was no love button!!


  8. bretagnebko says:

    Bravo for your honesty!


    1. Honest to a fault!! I needed skeletons for Halloween so I took them out of my closet.


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