When He Has Moved On 

Boy honey oh honey is this a toughie let me tell ya, one of the toughest emotional challenges you will come across…I don’t care how tough you say you are.

This is the pain that is different for everyone. That shows the relationship is severed forever more. The fight is over. Obviously he has moved on to his new life and it could signal the beginning of your journey your new life or it could take you on an emotional tailspin. I don’t care how much you say you are over him, if you are alive and breathing…you will hurt during this period. Wow how dare move on with another woman…or man…come on let’s stick with the times and be open here…it happens.

As mentioned this is your queue sister. Curtain call, take the hint, it’s over, the fat lady is singing. Your relationship is finito! Done!

Yeah, yeah we hope it is with some short, fat, woman missing teeth, with one leg shorter than the other and a wart on the tip of her nose with a long hair growing out of it but I can guarantee then you are going to be pissed cause he left you for something like that! Doesn’t matter who or what he leaves you for, the pain is pain it will just be different but it will all hurt….except….

Here’s a clincher….is it someone you know. We women need to really give kudos to the women whose men are with women we know, be it our ex friends, relatives whatever but we know them. This is far worse than our pain. If you are one of these women, baby all I can say is do a lot of praying for yourself and them, especially for them cause honey I do believe in Karma, and there is something out there called hard-core Karma and boy I would not want to be on the receiving end of that! Sit back, live your life she did you a favor, you just may not know it yet.

All this…talking about they moved on with another woman most of us will eventually go through…prepare yourself and try to take it with dignity at least to the outside world.

I had to take time away from the outside world, time for me because I didn’t want the world to see my ugliness, my friends, that was ok, but not my kids and especially I did not want to give him the satisfaction. My personal time marked the end…THE END. I was hurt, I was crushed, I was devastated, my years of devotion was for what, they meant for what? I allowed these feeling to flood me, I was human to feel these as long as feelings didn’t run away from me that led to wanting to hurt myself or anyone else and I didn’t allow these feelings stay with me for days.

At a point I knew this was enough, time for my healing to begin because I cannot wallow and fall in the depths of my self-pity. I allowed myself to start to accept these feelings that it was over and he was with someone else. It happens. People move on. I would move on. What if somebody put somebody in front of me and said, here, I force you to love him and stay with him, and I just couldn’t…that didn’t make me wrong. I had to forgive my ex for moving on whether I felt like it or not. I did my chants repeating over and over every morning and every night I forgive you (stating his name) and wish you well in your life. I woke up one morning and no I didn’t want to go double dating to the movies with my ex and his new woman, but that so so so sadness weight on my heart wasn’t there anymore.

Do I really wish happiness and joy and a prosperous life for him, I seriously doubt it, but my grief was a little lighter and that is what I needed to carry on my life so I could continue my journey and find my happiness.


  1. reocochran says:

    Hey, I wrote a post about kharma! So cool that you used that word, too! I think I also said kismet and in the end, spelled it karma because my stupid spellcheck would not accept the spelling! Very good writing!


  2. Thank you….I can never remember how to spell it!


  3. I’m at the point right now where I’m going to have to swallow the pain and watch the person I am so madly in love with move on with another woman….Loved your post though. This sucks 😦


    1. My God dear, it is torture isn’t it. I chose to make it the sword that ended it! He chose her I told myself not me. It so killed me so so bad, why her and why not me. Why why why I could drive myself crazy do the why why whys. Instead I lit my candle and laid everything in me to learn to accept it as the end because I had to learn to accept it cause I couldn’t lay down and die anymore because that is exactly what I was doing. I am so sorry for your pain, please know it gets weaker as you get stronger. Much love and patience and most of all strength!


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