DOWN IN THE DUMPS 10.23.18
How many of you can relate? After being dumped, going through a divorce, separated, maybe you just decided it wasn’t working out, but hey when you and your man go your separate ways it hurts, but then comes a holiday…where are the people who say they love me? You see that person went that way, this person isn’t around…
If you are like me, many of you are starting to know the Catalina, I am down in the dumps scenario. Yup, I put on the ol’ Sponge Bob Square Pants jammies with the feet in them…boys if you are reading this, don’t get all hot and bothered, there is not back button drop easy access compartment! Yes I have had a friend perv ask! Once in my jammies, I resort to my air twin bed (that’s all I can afford right now), throw blankies over my head and in my depression I recluse for days. This is how Catalina handles her depression. This is what I call my wah wahs wallowing in my pity potty.
Come on girls there’s the allow yourself to “feel your feelings” that people like Dr. Phil talk about. It is true. You need to not stifle that pain, allow yourself to go through that pain, feel the pain. Ok it is like you are in an upper scale foo foo store, lets say like Neiman Marcus. You see a beautiful cashmere sweater. Wow it is periwinkle blue and looks so so soft like a bunny rabbits butt. The store associate says to go ahead you are “allowed to feel” it. You run your fingers oh so gingerly through the velvety baby soft fibers and every sense of your nerves shoot from your finger tips straight to your brain in sheer delight and your mouth goes ooooooooooooooo so nice. Wow, the nice sales associate told you it was ok “to feel it”
Then the store associate is called away for something and when she returns she finds you in a heap on the floor nuzzled, rubbing, smelling, hungrily caressing this beautiful cashmere sweater. Did I mention you are whispering sweet nothings into the sweater…?
You crossed the line between just feeling it and allowing yourself to become so engrossed into the sensory of this beautiful object that felt so good.
We can also as women allow ourselves to become so engrossed into something that feels so bad. Why would we? Time to ask ourselves why do we want to lie in a heap on the floor on a beautiful cashmere sweater, no it’s not a sweater bits a yucky mean man, chances are he probably don’t like us or love us, chances are he can get pretty smelly so is gonna taste pretty yucky too! Why do we want to wallow over a man who is so painful cause that is what we are doing!
GO AHEAD LAY THERE! LET ME TAKE A POLAROID PICTURE AND PLASTER IT ON YOUR FACEBOOK WITH HIM LAYING UNDER YOU TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM YOU! WOW NOW HOW IS YOUR DIGNITY DOING???
NAW GIRL!! Allow yourself to leisurely and slowly at your own pace, ON YOUR FEET…ALWAYS ON YOUR FEET…stroll by the cashmere sweaters and feel them with all your senses, you’ll pass it, you really will. And there will be other racks and once again, put your hand out and you will allow yourself …ON YOUR FEET…feel those too. It is ok to reach your hand out and slowly with tears in your eyes allow the beauty and softness of your pain to release.
But the important part is, ALWAYS STAY ON YOUR FEET!!! DON’T LET IT KNOCK YOU ON YOUR ASS!! DON’T GRAB THAT SWEATER OFF THE HANGER AND THROW THAT THUMB IN YOUR MOUTH, CURL UP IN A FETAL POSITION AND WRAP YOURSELF INTO THAT SWEATER AND NESTLE INTO IT!!
Now where we run into this problem is at our house. At the store, we would have a store associate that will radio “security we have another crazy one” and off we go in the paddy wagon. But at home especially if we live alone, we could stay in that heap for days.
Put that cashmere sweater down cause guess what! The less ”just feeling” the cashmere sweaters, the sooner you will realize you were at the clearance rack with something that was something you really didn’t even wan’t anymore because on the other end of the store the new arrivals had arrived and you were so focused on the has beens that you didn’t even notice.
When someone has depression and goes through a life shattering event like a break up or the loss of someone you felt was your kindred spirit, how do you pull yourself up out of that heap on the floor. My birthday slowly slowly pulled me down, yanked me down is more like it. Birthdays are a time when you realize who you are important to and who you are not to and it is so easy to focus on those who don’t care anymore that you may shun that son that is always standing on the sidelines…never giving up on you..willing you to keep going.
If you suffer from depression, put that focus on those who without fail are there for you and if you have someone you love dearly who cannot return it, release them. If you don’t mean shit to a lot of people who use your illness to degrade you, yet you have a handful of people who you mean the world to, where are you going to put your focus.
My son is my blessing and I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for him.
Thank you Vincent and to those who reached out…you are my miracles.