Are you obsessed? Yes, I am talking to you.
Calling him a million and one times.
Checking his Face book, “Who the hell is that friend?” “Let me look her up on FB.” “Damn, she is slutty, Imma call him right now!” “Why is it going straight to voice mail?” “Imma shoot him an IM, he needs to know my feelings”, “Ugh, forgot to tell him how I felt last night, it’s 3 a.m., I need to say this in person…where’s my keys?” ONCE YOU START HOW DO YOU STOP!!! It becomes an addiction.
Men become our fixes. They become like a drug. They decide how our day is going to go. Did he answer and give us the attention that we required, yes. Well then our day is going to be ok. No? Well then our day is going to be about why the Hell is he not answering us, where the Hell is he, and who the Hell is he bleeping!! We can’t focus on anything else! We snap, we stare at our phone, oh boy our phone better stay by our side because he is going to call us any second.
Ok, you decide. It is over, he has neglected you, he has led you to go crazy and made you feel like this. Obviously cares nothing about you and is with somebody else so this time you are done. So you shoot him a text that you are done. This time you mean it, you may even do an Adele like message, I wish you well in your life, I wish you no harm. Good luck. Good bye. Aloha and all that good stuff. Send. Done. Whew that feels good. Now you can move on and live your life!
Five minutes later, no response? That good for nothing, you don’t wish him well. You pick up your phone again. Send him another text. This time the text is, “You are nothing but a piece of bleep bleep, and I hope you rot in bleep bleep!”
Argh Argh Argh!!! Pure and sheer madness! I don’t know how many of you have been there? I have, and it is the most horrible horrible crazy making madness that we could put ourselves in, I repeat, THAT WE COULD PUT OURSELVES IN!!!
I know your pain love, I do, you say nobody understands, I have been there, I do, but let me tell you something, you are killing your sanity and the only way to save it is to STOP! You are saying Yes help me! Ok lets!
The “No Contact” assignment and it goes like this:
1. Get that phone and put it out of your reach! (But wait you say what if there is some emergency and they need to reach you. Do you remember 20 years ago. There were no cells and people got a hold of people when there were emergencies so relax).
While at work, I put my phone in my car and leave it there. I would do it for periods of time. I would not allow myself my phone while I was at work the entire day. Like an alcoholic must stay away from a drink, you have to see this as an obsession, an addiction and you have to take it one minute at a time. I cannot call him for a minute, then an hour then a day.
2. No Texting!
3. No driving by his house!
4. Face Book, UNFRIEND! Yes you heard me right, you need to unfriend him right now because you don’t need to see his activities. Plus you know you are going to be obsessing with putting up posts to try to make him jealous. No! You need to unfriend him now!
Want do this the no fail way? BLOCK HIM, DELETE HIS NUMBER.
Stop any action you are finding that is becoming obsessive. Be honest with yourself. Keep your dignity. What man wants a woman who is chasing after him like a loony. Sit down and watch Fatal Attraction. You could end up with a restraining order. I don’t mean to sound insensitive, it happens.
YOU HAVE TO FIND OTHER ACTIVITIES TO DISTRACT YOUR MIND!!! This is so much easier said then done because at first he is first the first thing in your head. He is the first thing you think of when you wake up and when you go to bed. Ya have to change this baby, he isn’t worth the energy.
Can I Be Amazing After 50? 
I have a post going up on 03/28 about this very topic. Bless your heart! Good for you to admit it though–most are in denial.
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Oh heck easy, I was the sorriest sack of all!! ha ha. glad it is over
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Good girl! I just beat the urge myself. Mine plays the old “let’s be friends still” card. I had to stop that too. You have to go cold turkey haha! It drives you crazy to keep holding on. Let it go and be happy. I am reading the book Getting Past Your Breakup and it is great. It has really helped with my obsession.
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Yeah this blog just kinda spilled out from my gut and my heart and my laugh organ…where ever that is. I have to laugh at myself now. I am over it now, UNTIL THE NEXT VICTIM COMES ALONG…AHHHH!! POOR GUY!! Men are like drugs to me, but thank you…Janine, you are by far my favorite favorite blogger to follow!!
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Reblogged this on Starting Over After 50.
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