CHEATING AND YOUR SELF ESTEEM!!! 3.13.13
I think I need to write this piece more for myself than for anything else. When we are not wanted, when we are told it just isn’t working out anymore, and you go your separate ways…those ol’ wheels in that noggin start to turning. Then you may start to thinking and questioning yourself. Like, what is wrong with me.
Hopefully you are not like me. Let me tell you a little secret about myself. During the downfall of my marriage…ha! which was the entire time…I spent A LOT of time in the mirror. Looking. I would put on that make-up like I was auditioning for Ringling Brothers. The more he cheated, the harder I looked in the mirror.
I didn’t see it as a character flaw in him, that maybe he was a lowdown-good-for-nothing-dog-in-heat. I saw me as not good enough. What can I do to keep him from straying. What does she have that I don’t have. Why can’t I be more like her. And let me tell you I had the opportunity…lots of times to see the gargoyles that he cheated on with me. That is when my mind would really go in circles. Wow I must really be horrible.
I remember one time my husband looking at me and just start busting up, and he told me, you have a funny shape. He laughed at me! I broke down, he broke me down. I never heard that I looked nice, or that I was sexy. I heard laughter, my flaw was so comical that he couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He wasn’t laughing because a certain piece of clothing made me look funny, he laughed at my body. I remember looking at this skirt at the swap meet and he laughed, “you don’t have the body for that, let’s go.” Or he told me, that my butt was like an old typewriter, flat and wide. He said it while he let out this belly laugh. He shamed me about part of me. I have had numerous surgical procedure.
I just wished…if only I were more beautiful, a better body etc etc because then I would be enough… Really?
Hale Barry was cheated on, Jennifer Lopez was cheated on…now come on I could spend a million dollars on surgeries to try to be Barbie beautiful and that doesn’t guarantee me a loving and loyal man. My outside don’t mean a thing, yeah it sure is gonna get me and man, doesn’t mean it is going to keep a man. Catalina needs to work on the inside and make sure she loves herself cause if she ends up with another cheating a-hole, she needs to be confident enough and love herself enough to not say, what is wrong with me. She needs to be able to say, what is wrong with you…HIT THE DOOR YOU JERK AND DON’T YOU COME BACK NO MO NO MO NO MO! HIT THE DOOR JACK AND DON’T YOU COME BACK NO MORE!
I heard a saying,”What if you were to believe you were enough…would that be bad…no my dear! It would be BY FAR the BEST GIFT YOU COULD EVER GIVE YOURSELF!!! Magic would be possible and all things would fall into place.” Let us love ourselves just the way we are right now!
Cheating men won’t stand a chance against you! HA HA!! What doesn’t kill us make us stronger, stand a little taller….
Can I Be Amazing After 50? 
Reblogged this on ohwowruserious and commented:
This is a sad story told with a sense of terrific humor. I am so proud of her for not allowing what she experienced to keep her down!!!
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This post resonated with me so much!!! Especially this:
“When he cheated I looked even harder in the mirror. See I didn’t see it as a character flaw in him, that maybe he had some issues within himself, I seen it as what is wrong with me. What can I do to keep him from straying. What does she have that I don’t have. Why can’t I be more like her.”
Thank you for writing this. Hugs! 🙂
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You have to learn to love yourself so no one could ever break you. Know your worth and never settle for less. Look at yourself in the mirror and admire the person looking back. Try not to focus on your flaws, you have enough people doing that for you. Find hobbies that make you feel good and stick to them. Find friends who are positive and make you feel good about yourself!
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Learning to love myself has truly been the key this year. I could not do anything with myself and would continue to fall on myself until I did that. No therapy, no self help book…nothing was going to help until I did that. Thank you so much for reading my blog and thank you so much for your beautiful words. Inspirational people like you are the light in my day!!
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Great post, and so true. The character flaw is in them. When I was cheated on, I thought it was me. I became anorexic because I had just had his baby and he laughed about me being overweight. After I found out that he cheated while I was in labor at the hospital, I left his ass. I still thought it was me and started losing that baby weight. I couldn’t stop once I started, I got to 85 lbs before I got really sick and hypoglycemia forced me to start eating right. I too blamed my looks on him cheating. About 6 wives later I realized he was a serial cheater, it was his problem and nothing I could have done would have changed that. I finally got counseling and realized that you can’t change a cheater, just keep on stepping. You can change yourself though, and love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. Women always blame themselves or the other woman. Don’t! Put the blame where it goes, with the one who promised to be true to you and lied. I am so glad you love yourself now. I am learning to love myself again after another bad relationship, but at least this time I know he is the one with the problem. Thanks for reminding me. Sorry for the long reply, just needed to vent. haha. 🙂
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Ahhhh! I never ever tire of the comments, and the longer the better. I drink them up like a camel after a long tiresome travel through a horrible journey through a dry horrid desert of a marriage. I need the women in my life more now then ever before. Thank you my heros out there!
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