Imagine if you will, a woman wearing an all-black cat suit, hair pulled back tight in a long pony tail. She is prowling in the late night…the music to Mission Impossible is playing in the background. She jumps up and crawls out the window of a tall building then creeps up to higher window and secretly comes to a room where a man is caressing the face of another woman.


The lady in black takes out a pen that turns out to be a camera and starts taking pictures of this secret rendezvous. Then pulls out a tiny cone like device and points it towards the window. There she is able to hear the entire conversation, “Oh yes my darling Matilda, it was you all along, I have put away millions of dollars away from my wife and children so I can run away with you and we can live in the Bahamas forever…”

People don’t call me drama mama for nothing…you know you love the drama don’t you! Uh yeah, but that is besides the point I always say…

Do you spy on your ex? I did. We are doing it in two pieces here. There are two reasons to spy on your ex:

1. You want to find out the the mo fo is screwing around and you want to find out who the dirty ho is!
2. You have a stinkin’ suspicion he really is holding out on you, financially. You know or have a stinkin’ suspicion he really did have an affair and did you wrong and there is proof to be had… AND DAMMIT YOU WANT SOME JUSTICE HERE!!!

Guess what kids…It’s “Catalina’s, Oh My God You Went Through That Life” story time!!!! Yay!!!!! Now kids, this is not a fairy tale, it a true story, so gather round.


Once upon a time a lady name Catalina was having an awful hard time with her hubby coming home at night and she would wonder where the hell is that sorry sap at night! She knew he always had his beers in the garage with his friends at night when he did come home. So she put a voice activated recorder in there and waited patiently. Now this took a month but one night her, not so charming hubby went into the garage with his buddy and spilled his guts to his friends.  That next morning Catalina retrieved that recorder and this is what she heard…

“…yeah she is so stupid, she doesn’t even know I put her phone number where she’ll never find it, under my bosses name!”

So guess what Catalina did. That night when her hubby was asleep she went into his wallet and got the bosses phone number then the following day called. the number She pretended to be the health department stating that …and yes I knew her full name…had been exposed to Gonorrhea by a (insert my hubby’s name here) and she needed to be tested immediately. The only thing stupid about me was that I stayed after that.

So obviously my reason was number 1. So is that your reason? If you are together and there is powerful reasons for you to believe he is cheating. What if you are no longer together, why hurt yourself like that. Or worse yet, if you are like me. Are you going to catch him red handed but then stay anyways, nothing gets changed. All it did for me was show that he could cheat and I would stay anyways.


I was better off being stupid and never knowing anything because then I really wouldn’t have looked AS stupid! I thought I was showing him, HE SHOWED ME! So if you are still in a relationship and are thinking of spying, think twice, what are you going to do with that info sister.

Next we go to reason #2. Maybe you are going through a divorce and you want it to help out your case. You need to be careful here, there are laws out there that could protect him.


Are there any restraining orders against you…Now, now I am not assuming that you have them. I have done some crazy wife things and got real close to getting one…you know stabbing the car wheel with an ice pick…so if you have one I am not throwing stones. I am as real as they come. We hold no secrets here and there is no shame here either. I never pretend be anything I am not. As Popeye says, I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam. So girlie be real careful out there, if you have any restraining orders I suggest you get a hobby or a boyfriend or duct tape yourself to your apartment because you do not deserve to get yourself into any trouble.


Spying that is legal, is if you have proof that he has been carrying on with another woman, spending both of your monies on another woman and used your home computer to chit chat with her AND YOU ARE ABLE TO ACCESS HIS CONVERSATION WITHOUT A PASSWORD!!!


I heard of a case where a woman put a GPS system in their family vehicle and since he was driving on public streets and she was able to track him going to his mistress’ place, she was able to use this in court. Check with your attorney, if you have other  proof, you may be onto something, like emails are admissible in court. Always consult your attorney beforehand.


If this is an obsession, you just can’t stop. You think he might be seeing someone now. You just gotta see what he is doing. You are driving by his place a million times in the middle of the night…stuff like that. Yah…you need to talk someone….I know that doesn’t feel good and the more you do it the more you want to do it. It is like a drug, you need to do it, you can’t stop. Stopping cold turkey is the only way to do it…contact CODA…Codependents Anonymous if you feel you really need help with this issue. Nothing to be ashamed of. You can google it.


I read on someone’s Face Book and it happened to be a guy so I bet he was a victim, but it said, a jealous woman is better than any spy in the FBI….Oh how true that it!


  1. reocochran says:

    I found a naked picture among our shared music cassette tapes and counted condoms. She would actually call him, was a fellow social worker and ask if he could help her bring in a juvenile delinquent and then they would screw. I went to her house with our 6 month old baby in the car seat, unstrapped her, and walked to the door. When she opened the door, I held up the picture and walked into her house, room to room until I found the ivy wallpaper, held the naked pic up and said,
    “So you are the whore who is sleeping with my husband!” Not my finest moment but I did get him out and the divorce papers said, no visitation of our baby for no child support. She grew up just fine without him. She saw him once at age 5 and once at age 25. That is it!


  2. Wow what a piece of work he is. I commend you for your courage with a wonderful pinch of balls! It takes balls to do the things we do but you know what we do it because we have to prove to ourselves we are not crazy like they want us to believe. We know, we have that female intuition in our gut when they are cheating on us, but they will never admit to us. So we go about our sleuthing and even if we walked in and his penis is in his vagina, what is that famous saying, honey its not what it looks like! Ha!! Like I said we are survivors! Kudo’s to you and thank you for visiting me and my crazy life!!!


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