Are We Ready To Date

I have been focusing more and more on jumping back on the saddle (dating) because guess what, some of us feel that it is a good pain buffer. This is not for everyone. I will never ever be talking about booty call. If you feel you are-a- together kind of person that you can do a mystery man and feel good about yourself then baby you run with it. Put on those high heels and go find that different flavor of the week every night if you can and go-play! Chase that booty.

Personally, I have said it once and I will say it again, women are not wired for that type of thing. Our self-esteem will start to do a nose dive and you won’t understand why but I will tell you why, cause you are letting every Peter, Paul and Dick put their Peter, Dick and I do mean “peter” and “dick” in what you are supposed to keep sacred…your “cookie”! (My vagina is a cookie so we are going to call your vagina a cookie) It is my blog so it is my rules! But hey it’s your cookie so as you want with yours. If you want to let the men line up around the corner and take a number…carry on girlfriend…carry on!

For the rest of us who have sacred and valued “cookies”, you may be wondering where are we to meet these wonderful bachelors. Obviously if Trixie who is handing her cookie out to Peter, Paul and Dick is finding them we should have no problem. One thing to remember though, Trixie is probably not being too selective. We want selective Grade A don’t we? Maybe we had 50% ground round beef last time with a lots of gristle, we are ready for some prime rib or hey, how about some filet mignon…hmmm. Remember that commercial, beautiful blonde swaying her blonde locks, “I use Loreal, cause I’m worth it!” Well honey, sway that whole body, cause know it baby, you are worth filet mignon. If you don’t think so. Then you stop reading this right now, you are not ready to date or even look at another man cause you are going to end up with chopped liver! If you don’t think you deserve it you still need to work on you and do some healing and learn to do some loving you homework. When we don’t feel worthy of ourselves, do you know what we are going to attract? I am not talking looks here. We could attract some guy that looks like Brad Pitt and did we strike up a gold mine?

Clean up that drool ladies, I’m not done here. What if this Brad Pitt takes us home and spits loogies in our hair and calls us fat ass and beats the shit out of us and doesn’t work, while we are at it drinks a pint of whiskey every day, but hey he sure does look good. Did we strike a gold mine???? Hell to the NO!!!

If we have low self-worth, we don’t demand much respect for ourselves. We will accept being treated like poop cause we feel like poop. Now if we feel like we are queen of the Nile, hey no man better even look at us wrong, “Off with his head, dirty bastard looked at me wrong , Nobody looks at ME wrong!” So if you don’t love yourself or have self-worth …don ’t you think you need to work on that before you expect a man to feel highly of someone you don’t even care about? So no you are not ready to date.

Now it may be that you never get completely over your ex. Don’t get scared let me explain. Right now I have a healthy anger against mine, when it subsides I love him. Let me clear this up. I am not romantically in love with him, have not been in a long time, I love him like a brother. I care what happens to him. I wonder how he is, I think about how he is doing, sometimes I miss talking to him because he is familiar to me as if he were a family member. I was with him since I was 17 and wow I am 47. Excuse me, this is kinda hitting me right now, 30 years is a long time…down the toilet…ok let’s get back on track…Sorry I have ADHD…seriously I do…so my mind goes wayward sometimes…but anyways…I do get angry at him sometimes because I wish he would have wanted to do the counseling thing to save the marriage but IN ALL HONESTY HE DID ME A FAVOR BY KICKING ME TO THE CURB. And I can say that my love for him is not a romantic love anymore, it is now more like loving him as a family member because like I said, he has been part of me since I was a teenager. I am ready for dating. Yay. Now if you are going on dates and you find yourself crying on the shoulder of your date about your husband this, your husband that, or ex-husband or ex-boyfriend. Oh he did this to you and that…chances are, you are using this poor sap you are dating as a rebound…you are not ready for dating. You need some more time to heal and get over the hurt from your ex…it’s ok don’t be sad…time…it all comes with time.

Some of us ladies have been hurt, some hurt really really bad, not once twice thrice frice…you get the picture…numerous times….What once was this happy joyous loving woman full of love to give is now a brick wall who wears a bra made of steal and granny panties to match and has a permanent frown to her brow. Mention a man to her, “Ha! Those good for nothing, lazy, woman chasing, can’t trust them alone in a room with a sheep, nothing but dogs!” Bitter, bitter, bitter! Boy did they do a number on this poor woman…there are a lot of woman out there like this. If you feel that every single man out there is a cheater, is a piece of sh__t, is a liar, only wants one thing. If this is you, well honey you are not ready to date.

There are good men out there, I have met lots of them, when I put my expectations up, that is when I found them. But you have to be ready too, spiritually and emotionally healthy. There is no race, there is no clock ticking saying you have to do it by such and such time. It will come to you in God’s time. Until then we have ourselves we are loving to be with. After we have healed, we have met someone we love being in the company of… ”ourselves” so what is the rush? Enjoy yourself, enjoy your girlfriends. Girlfriends are the best gift you can give yourself. Go, go to the movies, go travel, go have wonderful food, experiment with foods you never tasted before, jump on the bus…where is it taking you…who cares…grab a friend by the arm and say let’s go on an adventure! You never know who you might meet when you least expect it!


  1. janineyork says:

    Great article! It reminded me that I still have a lot of work to do on me before I am ready to work on dating. Good luck to you!


    1. I’m taking baby steps. I have learned a lot with my relationship and WHAT I DON’T WANT IN A MAN!!!


      1. janineyork says:

        Yes I think this is key. So many take the “feelings” that they initially have with someone before the thoughts of whether this is truly what they want in a person. My mistake is often believing that I will change the person with my love. Never again! I will only date people who are already what I want no matter of how I feel. I think it is called growing up. Sad it took me this long haha!


  2. Tempted No More says:

    Fantastic read!


  3. Oh how true it is! I read your piece on the frog…how many frogs will I have to kiss…will my lips be full of warts???


Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s