Yup He Has Another Woman!
The confirmation came today. I was playing an April Fool’s joke on a friend saying, guess what me and my ex are getting back together I realize I love him and Ya! I am taking him back. Then I sat…Uh huh sat and waited for the …What the hell are you crazy after everything he has put you through….and instead I hear…what but such and such told me he is seeing someone else. My jaw dropped to the ground. JOKE WAS ON MOI!!! HOLY SHIT…Sorry I had to cuss. Say what! Yup he has been seeing someone else. Ok now mind you, I am being honest, I am dating already. But hey, it is different for me right. I have been run through the grinder here, so I am the all deserving saint here that is allowed to do as I please and nothing I do is wrong….right? He on the other hand has been cruel and not so good.
Ok so now this chitter chatter mind of mind starts going a million miles per hour, ah ha! So that is why he was so gung ho on wanting me out of the house…So that is why he was so uncooperative on trying to make our marriage work…everything makes sense now. I had that gut feeling all along and I was told by several people that he had a “friend” that had become more than a “friend” and they were waiting to see what I would do, and since I did nothing, well it was done for me…vamos muchacha…you gots to go! I was asked to leave if not peacefully…then the police would be brought in and I would be forced to leave against my own will. See we were living under his mother’s house so I had no rights.
Well honey, my anger was too much too bear. I could have fought and stayed a few months more but I had to leave and it all makes sense now.
So the boy has a chica. At first I laughed. Ha Ha ! Good. Then I picked up my phone and sent him a text, you know what, I always knew you were seeing someone for a while, that is fine… we are no longer together, life goes on, I really wish you and her much happiness. My daughter was in the other room and wasn’t 2 seconds my phone was ringing… it was my ex calling. I didn’t answer. Why.
I am not going to lie. My stomach hurt. Hey he was my life for almost 30 years. He was my life since I was 17, an innocent child, the father of my children. I would be lying to myself if I would say it didn’t hurt. But I have a good man that I am dating and I have to move forward. This is part of the process of going through a separation or divorce. The confirmation is part of it. I guess the next painful step will be actually seeing them together. Well I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I will tell you one thing. I am glad that I have done some serious work on myself, worked on my spirituality, been out and about and not isolated and vented here and with friends. I consider myself surprisingly well considering. Today I am at work playing April Fools Days jokes on everyone at the office. Wait till the secretaries get to the empty box of pastries that say, “Happy Secretary’s Day…Enjoy!” open the box and its empty! Ha Ha!
Life is going to go on whether I like it or not so my best bet is I have a choice, either I stay back and wallow and lick my wounds or I jump on the band wagon and live life to “my” fullest too! Because man he is not skipping a beat. So I could lay in my bed like I used to and cry my eyes out and be depressed and he is living his life, or I could go out and date and see the world and be happy like I have been and let him be. My heart doesn’t feel heavy anymore because I want to live my life. I don’t think I will spend the day grieving for a man that was never there for me anyways. I WAS NOT HAPPY, HE WAS NOT HAPPY, WHY AM I BROODING OVER SUCH AN UNHAPPY LIFE!!! I think I will spend my day playing jokes on my wonderful friends and laughing my day away!! Everyone hope you have a fun day…cause I will be laughing…not crying today!!!