First Day at Divorce Support Group
I don’t know what I was expecting at this group, maybe heaps of humans slumped in their chairs unable to go on because the love of their life was divorcing them. Do I have grim thoughts or what because as we were starting this man grabbed the tissues and covered his face, and the therapist looked at him lovingly and asked if he was having a hard time today, he looked around with a smile and said, no no I have allergies today. I thought, darn…where are all the devastated people!!! Horrible aren’t I, I can’t help it my mother took me to see the Exorcist when I was five, so now I’m morbid, get over it. But anyways, everyone looked like they were well composed, sitting up, small welcoming smiles.
Turns out my experience was a good one. This is a good way to vent issues you are having, but what was good about it was that the other people in the group could chime in. Now get this…forget the confidentiality, you guys will never meet these people anyways.
There was one person who was kinda a sad sack and was complaining how her husband never talks to her. When she told us her story I got the picture very clearly. First of all she reminded me of this old New York lady, hadn’t colored her roots so half her hair was gray and the other black. But I envisioned her walking behind her poor old husband nag nag nag, in a whiney voice, telling him you never take me anywhere, why don’t you talk to me, talk to me. Cackle cackle cackle.
So we asked are you in the group because you want to leave him? She says in her whiney New York accent, why don’t he leave, I have no friends, I can’t do this alone, my kids just don’t pay no attention….and she was on again…Oh I think I went to outer space by then. So you don’t want to leave?, I do!, then leave, I can’t, so stay, I can’t take it anymore I want out, then leave, why don’t he…oh dear somebody shoot me…
As I sat there I was pondering, is this what I really need. The people that were here although composed, admitted they were still in love with their spouse and could not make that final step and do the divorce. I mean I know I have a lot of anger I am still holding onto and maybe that could be something I could look into, but I am very proud of myself because I was at a very different level than all of them.
But overall it turned out to be quite interesting to hear what other people are dealing with and I will be going for the remaining 7 sessions. Get his Hulk that still lives in side me outta there!!!