Sanctity of Marriage Revised

Whew I have never had so many angry people respond to blog, this is about the Sanctity of Marriage. I wrote a blog because I was questioning the sanctity of marriage and it’s worth because people were breaking it so much and that a girl in my therapy class couldn’t move forward in her life and start dating even though she liked someone because she promised God that she would stay with her husband till he died, well her husband left her and was living with another woman. I was saying, forget the husband, move on, the sanctity of your marriage means’s over..and it said a lot of other things. And boy did it ruffle some feathers, some of you feel she should stay single and I am wrong to tell her to date and a few other kinds of things were said, this is my rebuttal.

When I stood at the altar with the man I was marrying and we were saying our vows, as I was looking deep in his eyes promising TO GOD to be the best wife, promising to forsake all others, to be there through thick and think, till death do I part, I MEANT EVERY WORD I SAID!!! It is important that you all know this blog is making me very emotional because boy this subject sure turned out to be a touchy subject.

I loved that man and was the happiest bride in the world and was going to do everything I could to be a good loving wife in the eyes of God and a good mother, but when is enough enough! When you are being physically abused and losing 40% of your hearing because you have had your ear drum broken twice from being slapped on the side of the head so hard? When you have to make excuse after excuse at work because you have black eyes, fat lips, a broken rib, on crutches? How about finding condom wrappers, phone numbers, lipstick stains…is that enough yet?

No no sisters out there with your different beliefs than me, the God of my understanding doesn’t want me to be unhappy, he knew I meant every word I but to him that I promised and I meant it but this was not the man that deserved those loving promises to. The loving God of my understanding wants me happy.

My blog was all about how those words mean nothing to so many people. People are so easy to throw them out there and some people will not let themselves go out and find their happiness because they made those promising words to God. The God of my understanding knows that they meant their promising words, the other person ruined it for both of them and it is ok because he voided the whole agreement.

I refuse to sit in a rocking chair and knit booties for the rest of my life because I promised to God that I would stay with my husband till I die and he is living happily ever after with another woman. God wants happiness for me too and if that angers some readers, then don’t read my blog.

I have a daughter and a son who have WONDERFUL partners and I could hardly wait for them to get married and I will make sure they have the best wedding in the world and I will go ga ga when they say their vows, because this is my wish for my babies, I said it in my blog, am I being too harsh because I was hurt so bad. My main focus is get out and move on if it is not right and it does bother me that my husband was able to keep his promise to me and God…there I said it maybe that is what it is all about, I am bitter about that…I don’t know


  1. This post made me cry; I am in so much pain for you, Catalina! I am so sorry that some people cannot understand what this feels like.

    “The loving God of my understanding wants me happy.” –> Yes, this. A thousand times, this! I am Catholic, too. While suffering can be used, and offered up to Jesus for benefit, we are not “SUPPOSED” to suffer! We are ALLOWED TO SEEK REFUGE/RELIEF from our suffering!!! No, you absolutely should NOT have stayed with this abusive, cheating asshole, and you are SUPPOSED to find happiness. That’s why we’re here. To be the persons that God made us to be.

    You might even be able to obtain an annulment (which would say that the marriage “never truly existed”), and then have the opportunity to marry again, one day. (But you have to get a civil divorce first. That’s the route I’m going, and that’s what I was told.) Again, I’m so sorry that some people just don’t understand. Just listen to your heart; you know you did what you had to do for YOU. You reached your limit and that was that. We all have different limits, and in your case you stuck it out longer than many women would have. Enough is enough? Well, if you’d stayed longer, maybe he’d have killed you. Would that have been enough for the detractors? No, you did what you had to do to LIVE.

    Now, go find your happiness. God wants that for you, and you deserve it. Be who He made you to be. Hugs, honey.


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