I just had an epiphany…Wow…not only did I have an epiphany, this is the first time that I ever used the word that I didn’t even know how to spell it, I had to look it up to make sure I knew how to spell it.
But on to my epiphany…I have to go slowly when I spell it because I will spell it wrong if I don’t, wow I feel like a scholar using it for the first time in my life…could it be I am becoming a real writer because I am finally using that word…yay!
Oh darn, I am so excited about my new word that I am forgetting about my “epiphany”. I have been wallowing in the depths of my loneliness that I forgot what life was like in my marriage. I forgot that even though I had my husband under the same roof with me, yes we slept in the same bed, but there might as well been a brick wall built between us because he stayed on his side and I stayed on my side. I remember how sometimes I would roll over and accidently my foot would touch his and we would jump as if we touch kryptonite and we would recoil in horror and apologize continuously and scoot to our side as far as we could. This was how life was for so long.
My epiphany? (I just love that word) I was lonelier in my marriage than I am now! Imagine that. Because it was thrown in my face day after day that my marriage was dead and I had no one!! I had someone in my bed so close…inches away that was not someone that I could hold onto…and that is the loneliest feeling in the world.
I need to remember that when I am feeling bad. For all you women out there that are feeling lonely at home, eventually it will get better. The light starts to get better, I promise you because it is happening to me, but of course you have to be proactive. But are you like me? Are you feeling lonelier being with someone than being by yourself…isn’t that funny??? I was lonelier with my husband than being by myself…THAT’S MY EPIPHANY!!!!