AS LONELINESS SUBSIDES
I can remember the days of sitting at home. My life went into a stand still. My friends went here and there and I stayed home waiting because what if just what if my husband would take time off his self-centered life that was all about drinking, surfing and his friends and would want to include me for a fast second. I wanted to make sure I was there if that moment ever happened. Ha!
I’m glad I didn’t hold my breath.
Those days are over. Now my life consists of dinners with friends, trips, shows, concerts, exercise, movies, restaurants…life is in session.
As I look at the fury of people walking the strip in and out of the casinos, the details of the statuesque buildings like the Eiffel Tower, I am reminding how I never left the confines of my home. Oh, ok, maybe I snuck away to the corner bar now and then…wow.
Life can be so much more than waiting for someone who is unavailable. Life can feel like you are breathing and one day doesn’t just blends into the next. Days mean something now, they actually have a meaning and a purpose and there is pleasure.
I like that I can say, what does my day hold for me today, what shall I do, who shall I see…I like that I have so many options.
I can breathe for the first time in my life, and it’s deep and it doesn’t have a sigh at the end…and I like that.