HOLIDAYS WITHOUT YOUR SPOUSE
No, no don’t panic! Christmas isn’t coming. But we do have Mother’s and Father’s Days coming. Hmmm. I bring this up because I said something about Father’s day to my daughter and she shot me this look as if I told her I was about to marry an ape, the discust on her face, it looked like she just at, uh uh, how can I say this so I don’t sound too discusting…POOP!!! And she spat out, “You don’t think you are coming to Father’s Day with us?” EWWWW! Meaning I wanted to go with my kids and my ex! Now I felt like I ate poop! “Hell no!” I spat! I had to add an even more super discusting face to outdo her super discusting face. I saw her relax.
This disturbed me beyond beyond. She really thought I wanted to go with them. Let me say it one more time….EWWWWW!!! PULEEEEZE!!! Why in the world? Ok, but I’m in a different place than most people now. Oh I can remember fighting like cats and dogs and thinking, I need to stop fighting and walk on egg shells so he will go to my family’s huge Mother’s Day brunch.
As I think back, why was it so important that I drug a man that was so unhappy with me to an event that he hated, where it would be apparent to my entire family how much he didn’t care about me by his stand offish body language. Why was it so important that I drag him with me?
I was so blind. I had my pretend family there, mom, husband and 2 kids, dressed beautifully.
Later I would hear that everyone felt sorry for because it was so visable to everyone by his body language that I was pretty much up his azz and he was repelling from me like I was Kryptonite. Everyone noticed but me and he denied it.
I don’t even remember if I enjoyed myself because I was so worried about wondering how horrible of a time he was having. What a Mother’s Day. It was my day and I catered around him to hold him hostage because I felt if I made him go it would make it seem like he cared. But all it did was show the world that he didn’t. If I would have left him home, at least it would have kept them wondering.
This will be my first Mother’s Day as a separate mom and I will be catering, it will be about me. I like that. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? I am looking forward to it!
If there are any moms out there feeling blue, take time to realize this is your day. You are not his mother, this is about you and your kids. Celebrate that! I know I will be!