DIVORCE HAS GIVEN ME A SECOND LIFE!!
Now I am realizing that my separation from my husband is my opportunity for a second life, a richer life, a happier life. I realize that I am awake now to life and all that it has available to me, things that I never took advantage of, things that were there the whole time but I was so far up my husband’s azz that I couldn’t see any of it. I can see clearly now the rain is gone, and the muck, and the clouds.
I had decided right away that I would not allow myself to become stagnant, I would do everything I could not be stuck in the past. My path was going to be about moving forward. I wanted to make a better me, to improve me, to work on me, to do a total tune-up on Catalina from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes.
Everything that I have been setting out to do, I am doing. I am exercising, going to school, going out with friends and whining a whole lot less. I have awaken up to the fact that we choose what kind of life we want and if we don’t like what we have, then damn it, you just have to change it. Because it is my own life, nobody else’s my own.
I was upset about my weight, then exercise! Uh duh! I was upset about my creative piece not getting the best critique from my instructor, then take a class to refresh my English! If I am lonely, call or get together with friends. Simple answers to problems that I made complicated with my own brain.
Divorce and Separation and Breaking up with somebody you cared about or loved didn’t have to be a death sentence.
I still do not understand all the pain that I had to endure all those years to get to where I am now, maybe I never will. I always felt life was unfair to me, what did I do wrong? I once heard someone say, in order to feel pleasure you must feel pain first, maybe this is what it is about. As much pain as I went through excites me because that means God has a whole lot of beauty and happiness in store for me and much pleasure in life. Every day one more flower blooms in my heart, another door slowly opens. What else does life have in store for me, it’s like those Russian wooden dolls, you keep opening them and there is another and another, it is endless.