I am realizing he will always have part of my heart and I have to realize that that is ok.

I have to get to a point where that small part he has in my heart is like a small potted flower and it is ok to nourish its beauty because no matter what, it is my love and my love will always be part of who I am, and that is always beautiful. It doesn’t mean I am carrying a torch for him. It doesn’t mean I am still “in” love with him. It doesn’t even mean I want him back.

It means there is a beauty in me, a part of me that is so special and unique and I am made of pure love. That is how God made me and that is how I wish to continue to stay. I don’t want to continue to hate anyone. My anger for him returns a lot and it hurts me more than it hurts him. I don’t want to live like that anymore.

I pray that my heart one day will be released of all the anger completely so that I can feel more joy than I feel anger and that the days of joy grow and grow. I want the space in my heart to have less and less room for anger and more and more room for just joy and love. One day all that ugliness and bitterness will have no room to come into my heart because my heart will be so full of joy and pure love, I see that as the highest form of happiness.


  1. janineyork says:

    You are growing every day. Once you can let go of the anger, he no longer has any part of you that you don’t give him permission to. You will find a truly deserving love if you stay on your path of loving yourself first. At least that is what I keep telling myself. 😉


  2. carolinecarryson says:

    I used to think “love conquers all” meant I could overlook all of the negatives in life and love him unconditionally.
    Now I’m satisfied with the idea that love conquers all my pain, all my suffering , all my hate so that I can come to the place where I love myself as much if not more than I have tried to love others.


  3. Self talk lots and lots of self talk!!! Lots and lots of writing!!


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