AM I GROWING UP OR IS IT ALL JUST TALK????

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AM I GROWING OR IS IT ALL JUST TALK????

Holy Guacamole! Ok all those pretty motivational words that I have been preaching on the top of my mountain top, any mountain top, because “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough!”, because no man is going to take my serenity away from this Super Chick! Right!

I don’t know how well people have been following me, but I started this blog because resentment is a big factor for me. My husband owes Uncle Sam big time. I had no idea how much but I know that I could not do a self-divorce, I could not do any divorce because as soon as I would, that would call attention to my 70K pension and whatever amount he owed Mr. Uncle Sam, my pension would pay because like assets are community property, bills are also considered community property.

This has been weighing very, very heavy on my serenity. Today I find out that his bill is $60,000. That will pretty much wipe me out clean. So he is paying for a tax specialist to assist us because he is willing to do what it takes to help me so that this bill becomes only his responsibility. I have to admit I am impressed with this.

There is a catch. I will be driving for over an hour in the same vehicle with him to and from this appointment. I suggested I take my own car and he said let’s be adults and just take one car because he is doing me a favor. This will be my test of how well I have grown in my serenity and like he said… as an adult.

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AIN’T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH!!!!

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AIN’T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH!!!

I am real big on empowering myself as a woman now. I am in the process of crawling out of that cocoon and I feel those beautiful butterfly wings just aching to burst out full and proud. I am real big on two people right now for two very different reasons. Louise Hay has been instrumental to me in building my self-love. I am not there yet, but the progress I have made has been monumental. The other person is Eckart Tolle. He is very empowering and teaches in the Power of Now how our own negative self-talk can make us spiral into a negative state.

Louise Hay has me looking in the mirror every day and telling myself how much I love myself because if I don’t love myself, then nothing but nothing else in my life is going to work. Eckart Tolle, has me thought stopping. As soon as I even think about he don’t love me, nobody will ever love me..etc etc..I am stopping myself and just being still for the moment.

Because we are women, we already have an obstacle placed in front of us. My husband kicking me to the curb is a stepping stone that woke me up that I was growing stagnant with my life and now it is time to grab the bull by the horns and grow closer to living a life of purpose, prosperity and full of happiness. Or at least just moving on knowing the marriage will ever be.

Nothing is stopping me from reaching the top. Not a man, not poverty, not illness. So it is time to put some spikes on these high heels and start climbing that mountain because it is a rocky climb! Did I mention I went rock climbing? I made it all the way to the top. I am realizing that when I set my mind to things I am able to do things that I never imagined I can do.

What do I want from life? I need to be able to envision it. When I stop thinking ahead, I am stuck. So what is keeping you stuck?

YOU’VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR THE LIEBSTER BLOG AWARDS!!!

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Yes you are not reading it wrong. You have been nominated for the Liebster Blog Awards, where it intends to discover new awesome blogs.

I would not like but LOVE to thank Dapsy for nominating me for the Liebster Blog Award, for new bloggers. What a sweetheart you are. It is exciting to me because I am so new to this and it just started as a fluke “what the heck” kinda thing and I found out it was fun and now it is a passion. What an honor. You can see her great blog site at htt://dapschronicles.wordpress.com

This is a little about me, part of the process I am supposed to tell you all some things about me.

1. My kids and I used to pretend we were really rich and go to stores and speak in accents and fill up the cart with
things we pretended we were going to buy then leave and the cart would be full.
2. I have a being in under the water submerged phobia. I think I was drowned in my past life.
3. I wanted to be a model or a flight attendant but I was too short. I am four foot eleven.
4. I also wanted to be a nun.
5. I was a clown for parties for a bit, I wouldn’t charge.
6. I could read palms and do tarot readings.
7. I have eaten dog food. I did this because my dog wouldn’t eat his food. It had no flavor, so I seasoned it and it and
he ate it. There really should be chefs for dog food.
8. I have seen people crossing to the other side.
9. I can do a cartwheel, stand on my head and pole dance and a little belly dancing.
10. I was an actress for community plays for several years.
11. I have a secret.

Questions my nominee asked me:

1. What inspires me? Right now my friends.
2. What experience in the past made me stronger? Family, Friends and God.
3. Black or White? White…because it is like the light…positive
4. Do you believe in love? I am all about love. Of course I believe in it. That is what life is all about. I live it
every day.
5. If given the chance to move, where would you like to move (country)? If my kids would come, Australia.
6. What are your thoughts on music? It touches my soul. I love music. It helps me clean, get ready for work. Brings me
up, but be careful, it could bring me down.
7. Do you believe in God and aliens? Of course God, aliens, not so much.
8. Why do you blog? Fun, vent, entertainment, creative outlet so many reasons.
9. Samsung or Apple? Always an Apple
10. What book had made an impact on your life? Raisin in the Sun.
11. In your opinion do you think it is wise to swear off men/dating/intimacy for 750 days? Maybe it is the right thing to
do, but I don’t have the will to do it.

These are questions I want I want to know from people I am nominating:

1. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
2. Did you grow up in a home with both parents?
3. Do you believe in reincarnation?
4. Do you believe in heaven and hell?
5. What is your favorite cinema movie ever?
6. What song would you like played at your funeral?
7. What one word describes you?
8. What is your astrological sign?
9. What is the one quality that you want most in the opposite sex?
10. What is the one thing that you feel you should change about yourself?
11. What movie star do you resemble most (you have to answer this)?

These are the nominees that I feel should be awarded the Liebster Award!

http://blendermom3.wordpress.com/
http://mom in reality.wordpress.com/
http://letmeseethelight.wordpress.com/
http://madeformarriage.wordpress.com/
http://newtodating.com/
http://unblockedwriter.wordpress.com/
http://imsunfairy.wordpress.com/
http://solvingmaria.wordpress.com/
http://abandonmentbird.wordpress.com/
http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com/

1. Name 3 non-blog sites you regularly visit:Facebook, Groupon, Amazon
2. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I goof around a lot, A LOT! And joke around so much that people will tell me,can I be serious some of the times. I have to remember that life has to be serious some times.
3. What is your mantra in life? Thank you God I love myself the way I am over and over and over.
4. What makes you laugh? almost everything. But mostly myself. I am the funniest person you will ever meet. I pull jokes and say the funniest things and do the funniest things to people. I am so odd, I am my own best audience.
5. Is there anything that you would like to change on your government right now? Our troops, we need to stop fighting everyones war. We have enough problems with our own country. And we need to stop spending so much money on sending space shuttles out to space. All that is so costly.
6. If money is not a factor, what would you like to buy/acquire today? Houses for my family…especially me
7. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because they have a negative attitude, they continue to wish these bad things on themselves. If only they would believe they can bring good things unto themselves they would see the magic they can bring into their lives.
8. How will you describe a rainbow to a blind person? I would hold their hands and lightly twinkle the tips of my fingers rapidly all over their hands and tell them if they could imagine this is what they could see, this is what a rainbow would look like.
9. Are Virtual Friendships/Relationships for real? Yes, I can be friends with anyone and really care about them.
10. How important is technology? It can bring people from afar, close together.
11. Lights on or lights off? ON BABY!!!

How do they say, it was an honor just being nominated!!!!

THE HARDEST WORDS TO HEAR…

 

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THE HARDEST WORDS…

The hardest words to hear

Blinking through bruised eyes

Still tasting the metallic taste of your blood

“But what did you do to make him so mad?”

 

If you or someone you know is being physically, emotionally or sexually hurt, please reach out.  The following resources are  available 24 hours.

http://www.thehotline.org

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233

CAUTION: COMPUTERS CAN BE TRACED. PLEASE CAREFUL TO DELETE HISTORY…

 

KILLING ME SOFTLY…FOR MY OWN GOOD

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HE KILLING ME SOFTLY…FOR MY OWN GOOD

Romantically drawn to him no more

He killed my heart towards him

Severed the true love a wife should have

I know I could never be true to him any more

The look of discust on his face

As I cried out in pain

Sent up a metal wall around my heart

That will never let him in at all

That memory burns me without end

He declared the end of us to me

Then demanded me not to shed a tear

Calling me discusting and childlike

I sucked back every emotion like a breath of air

As if I was taking my last breath before I die

And in a sense I did

Any chances was put to death

That that dismal early morn

Life goes on and I have moved on

Now I see why life gave me such pain

A new life was waiting for me

Yet I wouldn’t change the pages myself

A new chapter has started

And it doesn’t include you

God did for me what I could not do for myself….

THE BUTTERFLY HAS AWAKEN….

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THE BUTTERLY HAS AWAKEN…

There was a time I could not see the beauty I possessed

There was a time I could not see all I could be

I gave you all the power to control how I felt about me

I was your puppet and you held my strings

But I gave you these strings willingly

You didn’t care for me so I why should I

I allowed you to make me hate who I was

The mirror lied to me and made me ill

I was a prisoner of my own negativity

I dreamt of being anyone except for who I was

God made a mistake I felt when he made me

But now I’ve been awaken from this horrible dream

For now I see what I have never seen before

A beautiful woman and it’s me

No man will ever tell me how to feel again

I have discovered this power has been mine all along

I never have to be anyone’s puppet ever again

Like a butterfly I have transformed into something more

Something my mirror never lies to anymore

They can call me anything from a boar to a troll

It doesn’t matter because I know I am so much more

Thank you God….If I forget, please remind me again…

SO YOU WANT TO HEAL…

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SO YOU WANT TO HEAL

It is called trudging…

Do things you don’t want to do

You just keep doing it

Continue to “act as if”

Even when you don’t want to

The pain will still be there

The I don’t want to’s will continue to be there

And it’s no matter what you do

So continue forward no matter what

Then slowly slowly one day you will notice

That they are trickling away

You won’t even realize when it started

But key phrase…don’t stop

Never allow yourself to stop

Never allow yourself to go backwards or get stuck

It’s ok to cry, to rest

But continue your journey forward

Pain is pain and we have to endure it

This is how you heal…