Some areas I have not tapped into working on. Some areas are still scary and hurt. It is scarier and more painful than abuse to me.
I don’t think about it. I don’t discuss it. I don’t even want to delve into it. I tell myself I trust all until you give me a reason to not trust you and then the dagger would be so deep once again to my soul, to who I am, hopefully not to all my growth…and I would claim defeat and walk away. Keep him, he is not worth it. If it was a fling, go scavenge her up, my heart is too fragile and I am too much of a paranoid person, the F.B.I. would have nothing on me. I would be dusting your underwear for fingerprints and sending them off to the lab for DNA samples and driving myself mad. I rather leave you, and go through the torment of having to get over you then go through that hell. So trust? I push it out of my mind and pretend it isn’t an issue with me, but if you betray me, my back will go to you, and you will be the stranger I never knew.