HELLFEST 2009 - 19-20-21 juin 2009 Clisson / Dez Fafara - Devildriver


Today I looked at something I wrote a bit ago and thought, hmmm, this is a nice quote, “You attract love if you love yourself, you attract respect if you respect yourself.” Then I realized I was the one who wrote it. There are many things when I look back at, I think, wow did I write that? Ha! Then, there are a lot that I have to go back and correct. Sometimes I am so excited because it just flows out like water. I will wake up from a dead sleep and have the need to write. Those are the times when I need to do grammar and spell check before I send it off.

Back to that quote, it inspires me. There was a time that I had no self-respect or self-love and guess what, I accepted garbage. Why not, I was garbage, right? Call me every name in the book, I will beg you not to leave, you can stay out all night, and I will be right there in the morning relieved because you came back to me.

It is a new day, I am nobody’s bitch, ass-hole, or whore now. At the first sign of any of that language coming out of your mouth, you will be talking to the walls. Peacefully, I am gone. Got an itch to stay out all night, you better take all your stuff because your “all night” is going to be permanent. I know what happens if your night needs to be a sleepover. I am nobody’s fool.

I have heard so many women say, why do men always do this to me? No, why do you let men do this to YOU! There is a sign, there is ALWAYS a sign. No call, no show? Loses his temper with you, bad name slips at you? At that first sign of disrespect, that is the end of it. It could only go downhill from there.

I cannot handle yelling. Nobody yell at me, it frightens and intimidates me. When I hear it, I will immediately remove myself from it. It takes two to argue, so if you remove yourself from a yelling person, who are they going to argue with. If I am on the phone and somebody raises their voice, I say don’t yell and I instantly hang up. I will not answer for a while because I know that call right after will still be a yelling call. Thank God for text, I will send a text and say, when you are ready to speak calmly, you may call me back and tell me what is bothering you. It is working. I don’t have anyone in my life that speaks in a harsh manner any longer.

I lived the life of ugliness for so many years that I realize that people can live like they do on the Brady Bunch. Serene, peaceful, speak to each other respectfully. I always wanted that. My kids have picked that up and have mates that have that also. This road I am on is a long one but the lessons never cease to amaze me and I am tireless. Come on bring me a new day, I want to learn more and more!!


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