Today I had a heavy heart. It was for my husband. You see I have a gift that I like to call intuition, some people call me bruja, some people call me gifted, others see it as going against God because you shouldn’t see what the future brings. Hey it isn’t my fault and it only happens sometimes. My sister had a dream that included him, my sister thinks of him often. My heavy heart comes because he made a horrible mistake breaking up his family. It was the worst thing that could have happened to him, yet the best thing that could have happened to me and he is witnessing the effects of it all.

He will see my happiness continue to grow and it saddens me. I would never rub anything in his nose like, “Nanny, Nanny, Nanny!” My heart has softened towards him, my love has evolved for him, not as a wife but kinda like a close relative because he is my history. I do and will always have a love for him. I never wish him any pain.

Today my heart ached for him and I thought, God please give him a happy life too.


  1. You are a better person Than I.


    1. No not better I was just so tired of my soul being sick and living in rage and always having pain in my being, lashing out at my children for paying him any attention, I was becoming so ugly I had to make peace more with myself for myself than for him and the rest fell into place. momtheobscure, I had the pleasure of going to your site, oh my, never had I read such beautiful writing. I fell in love!


  2. Beautiful. I had a similar day!


    1. Yay!! Yay for us all!!!


  3. You successfully articulated a point of dread for me, only I would be the one leaving but still aching that my husband saw me so happy. He’s afraid of that too. I really don’t know what to make of feeling this way.


    1. I was dying inside for him, but was willing to try, now he is repenting and that ship has sailed and the last thing I want to see is him live in sadness. In my heart of hearts I would love to see him meet someone to make him happy. I am sure it will hurt, but life goes on right?


  4. Christina says:

    That is my worst fear. Even though my husband left, my biggest fear is that I will grow and thrive and his life will fall apart. Even though I still hold some anger and bitterness, I don’t want that to happen to him.


    1. No our husbands are our history, we have a part of our hearts always for them. We have to get over that bitterness and move past that and live in peace. I am so blessed to be able to do that Thank you God.


  5. Jeff says:

    I’ve long had similar prayers for my ex. It’s a good thing, compassion.


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