SCREAM THE TRUTH…


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SCREAM THE TRUTH TILL IT DOESN’T HURT

Suppose your man left you for another woman. Suppose it hurts you to the core. Or maybe he just left you and you are still hurting. Whatever the reason, you are hurting and you want it to stop already. What are we supposed to do to get over the pain.

I heard about forgiveness exercise where you lay down, close your eyes and do vision work. Well I was angry and I was hurting and I thought, I need to puke this forgiveness thing and do it now…

Just so happens I was on the freeway heading towards downtown Los Angeles.

As I got to 65 mph, I  hollered at the top of my lungs, “I wish pure love and happiness for my ex because he deserves it”.  No, I didn’t mean it.  Anyways, I said it again, and I said it again, over and over. I can’t tell you how far I drove, but it had to be over 25 miles.  I had the momentum going.  I was yelling from my gut, my heart but more importantly, I was wanting to believe it. It wasn’t  because I feel they deserve it but because I hurt so freaking much and just wanted to stop hurting already!!! So I yelled and yelled over and over how I wished him love and happiness. At first it hurt so bad to say it because no I didn’t want any of that for him, but the more I said it, something happened. My throat started to get parched from hollering so much, but my stomach started hurting less. So I got daring and threw in “and I forgive him as a person”, boy did that hurt but again I said it over and over.

When my drive was over, it was dusk. I was parched and I grabbed some water and went to bed. I was physically and emotionally spent.

Something felt very different about me, I can’t explain it. That tension that I had felt in my stomach for so long was gone.

That next morning I actually forgot about my drive. I saw a cheese cake my daughter made and I was joking that her berries were not uniform and we need to get a ruler so we could spread them out evenly. She looked at me and she asked if I was drunk. She was laughing. I realized that I was really being silly and felt much lighter. A feeling of AHHHHH, is all I could explain it as. I have no technical term for this therapy that I did on the fly except, Scream the truth till it doesn’t hurt!

The concept, I picked something I was hurt and angry about and I hollered and hollered good things about this person until the pain in the pit of my stomach went away. I started a path of forgiveness. My pain was definitely eased. I needed to hurt less and it sure seemed that is exactly what happened. Wow.  They say we have to learn to forgive, not for them, but for ourselves….

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Author: Catalina Zamora

I am struggling but I am doing it. I started this blog to help myself because I was falling apart and still do sometimes but...hey what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

2 thoughts on “SCREAM THE TRUTH…”

  1. That’s great, I’ve had my kids ask if I was drunk before. In my first year of living on my own after my separation/divorce, I asked my daughter if there were things she noticed about me that she hadn’t seen before when I lived with daddy. She said “Yeah, your more relaxed, and you laugh and can be silly again” . I really needed to hear that.

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