SCREAM THE TRUTH…


BigHairWomanScreaming[1]

SCREAM THE TRUTH TILL IT DOESN’T HURT

Suppose your man left you for another woman. Suppose it hurts you to the core, hurts your heart to the core. Or maybe he just left you and you are still hurting. Whatever the reason. You are hurting and you need to stop hurting. What are we supposed to do to get over the pain.

I got in my car and I drove on the freeway. If you don’t feel you can drive safely, please don’t drive.

I hollered at the top of my lungs, “I wish pure love and happiness for my ex because he deserves it”.  Hell no I did not believe it.  I said it again, and I said it again, over and over. I can’t tell you how far I drove but I was yelling from my gut, from my heart and I was wanting to believe it too but not because I feel they deserve it but because I hurt so freakin much and I felt I deserve to stop hurting already!!! So I yelled and yelled over and over how I wished him love and happiness and at first it hurt so bad to say it because no I don’t wish any of that for him, but the more I said it, something happened. It started hurting my stomach a little less the more I said it. So I got daring and threw in “and I forgive him as a person”, boy did that hurt but again I said it over and over.

When my drive was over, it was dusk. I was parched and I grabbed some water and went to bed, I was spent. Something felt very different about me, I can’t explain it. My stomach felt looser, my whole body felt looser.

That next morning I actually didn’t think about my drive and I saw a cheese cake my daughter made and I was joking at her that her berries were not uniform and we need to get a ruler and measure all the berries. She looked at me and she asked if I was drunk. She was laughing. I realized that I was really being silly and much lighter in mood. A feeling of AHHHHH is all I could explain it as. I have no technical term for this therapy that I invented except, Scream the truth till it doesn’t hurt!
The concept, I picked something I was hurt and angry about and I hollered and hollered good things about this person until the pain in the pit of my stomach went away, my resentment and I kinda started a path of forgiveness, maybe not the act itself, but maybe the person, I don’t know I can’t explain it but my pain was definitely eased…like I said, I deserved to hurt less and it sure seemed that is exactly what happened. Wow.  They say we learn to forgive, not for them, but for ourselves….

2 thoughts on “SCREAM THE TRUTH…

  1. That’s great, I’ve had my kids ask if I was drunk before. In my first year of living on my own after my separation/divorce, I asked my daughter if there were things she noticed about me that she hadn’t seen before when I lived with daddy. She said “Yeah, your more relaxed, and you laugh and can be silly again” . I really needed to hear that.

    Like

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