Healing From a Divorce
I picked up a book called…well maybe I shouldn’t blast the name of the book since I don’t want those two crazy …yes crazy…authors coming after me. I wouldn’t even line the bottom of a bird-cage for birds to poop on. I take it back, I do want birds to poop on it or anyone else if they want to. No I am not being mean, gross yes, mean no! I won’t even tell you the title because I really would not want any woman going through a divorce reading it.
Let me tell you about the book, because there is a lesson to it. Well evidently these two socialites, hawty tawty, rich women were left by their husbands for younger cuter bombshells. Oh darn, that never feels good. Anyways, these women talk about getting out of their gloomy slumps, realize they need to spice up their looks and get back out there because too can be hot again and catch a man. Uh ok! Let’s think about that. Is this really healing from a separation or divorce or is it masking insecurity by finding another man to make you feel like you still got it?
The tone of the book is pure bitterness. She talks of signs your husband is cheating like is he shaving his gorilla back, or trying to lose his huge beer belly and talks about the little young hussy he is with. Oh yeah they do not paint pretty pictures of their exes. Wow. These women are still angry maybe a little vengeful. They became self-proclaimed experts on divorce because they were friends who were both feeling the wah-wahs and looked in the mirror and realized throughout the years they had let themselves go. They trash every cute women in the world and it is just about being hot hot hot!!! Like a competition???
Now you tell me is this the end you hope to achieve after a divorce. No my little chickadees because these women are going to be back looking at that mirror when they fall again saying, “Now what?” What more make-up, a shorter dress? Oh I got it, let’s bring in the plastic surgeon and let him start hacking away at our bodies, we have to get more beautiful so a man can love us. I mean isn’t that the message we are getting from these women???
NOT HEALED. The end result is not a man! Don’t get me wrong, I hope one day to end up in a relationship with someone who can be my best friend, but I have me to work on. There are so many stages you go through after a separation/divorce and one of them being anger. These women were definitely stuck in that stage when this book was written.
Then there is a healthy stage you will hit where you accept the divorce, see your part and know it is not all just his part no matter how huge his part is and how painful the betrayal was. You, for the most part, forgive. I am not saying you forget. I am not going to lie because if I let myself sit in the past too long, I can get those old feelings stirred up so I make sure to not let myself visit that painful place. It is about healing so I have no business even thinking about that. So yes there is some pain but I choose not to react to it and soon the pain ceases to exist. You get to the point where you can be in your own little apartment and it is peaceful and you feel contentment most of the time with just you and it doesn’t matter what he is doing anymore. The man is not a necessity….just for now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. But today it is about healing me.
This my luvies is what we call healing. Let me tell you, it is awesome.