Who knows more about marriage and divorce, and marriage and divorce…CELEBRITIES! I found these and thought some of them were quite clever. Enjoy!
My husband and I have never considered divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce.
~ Joyce Brothers
Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
~ Robin Williams
She cried—and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
~ Tommy Manville
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. ~ Johnny Carson
My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.
~ Wendy Liebman
You don’t know a women till you’ve met her in court.
~ Norman Mailer
Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.
~ Joan Rivers
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
~ Woody Allen
Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.
A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I’m about $100,000 short.
~ Mickey Rooney
I’d marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he’d be dead in a year.
~ Bette Davis
Take this marriage thing seriously—it has to last all the way to the divorce.
~ Roseanne Barr
To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.
~ James Caan
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor