In order to find a good man we need to think ahead about what we want in a man. The traits I accumulated are key to finding a great guy.
No more settling. No more Mr. Losers for us. Because we are perfect women and this time around we want a man who is going to be worthy of us. I have searched the web and came up with these 14 traits, gestures and behaviors that I found the most important to finding Mr. Wonderful.
Now first, very important. You are not going to pull out a clip board and question him. These are to remembered so they sound natural if you need to ask questions. The key is to talk about everything and to casually in a conversation mode, even ask questions.
TRAITS WE WANT IN A MAN
- He asks questions, not just answers yours. Him asking if you like oral doesn’t count. This guy will ask things to get to know who you are. He wants to know your favorite food, your passions, and even what you are looking for in a man.
- Asks about your family, and doesn’t hide his. Family values are important and if he asks you in proper time to meet his wonderful family, that means he wants to show you off to people he loves.
- Not chauvinistic, but chivalry is not dead. He is not the kind of man who expects you to serve him as he lays out on the couch drinking his tall bud. He doesn’t expect you to draw his bath. He seems like the kind of guy that will get in and help you cook dinner and do the dishes. Gee whiz! So he is about equality, but he treats you like a princess and opens doors for you, pulls your chair out.
- No temper issues: I was married to an abuser with a horrid temper so this is a good one. Want to test his temper, have him drive you two somewhere during rush hour on the freeway. Are you noticing his temper rising and everyone else that is driving is an idiot. The worst thing is he tells off everyone in the other cars…as if they could hear him. Ugh, we need gentle peaceful men.
- Makes you feel good no matter if you are in sweats or dress but it is authentic. Now I am not saying to walk around in lard covered sweats and not brush your teeth. I am talking clean, no make-up and he still acts like you are some hot super model. Or at least that you are cute.
- Apologizes when wrong. So important, a man who cannot admit when he is wrong is all wrong! You do not want a man who has too big of pride that refuses to admit he is wrong. If he is late to pick you up (which should not be happening anyways) but he is sorry and is trying to make it up to you.
- Listens to your problems. I am not talking, “Uh huh, really, oh”, I mean actively listening to your issues at hand. Now mind you men have a tendency to think you are asking for a solution. Don’t forget to listen to him back.
- Not afraid to bring up goal with you. Does he say stuff like, you are the kind of woman I would love to spend the rest of my life with. Ok maybe even, asking if you could date exclusively. This is a sign that he is not commitment phobic. A man that says he doesn’t want to get serious, is someone who you are never going to get anywhere with. Advice…run, don’t walk!
- You are a priority. You matter to him. Not to mention he makes sure you know how important you are to him.
- Respectful. First time you hear anything like stupid, idiot, any disrespectful language that makes you sound like a lesser person. Does he treat you with respect, doesn’t raise his voice to you. This is very important.
- Surprises you with sweet things. Awe, what a sweet-ums! Brings you flowers, maybe even picked it for you. Brings you over a DVD to watch, and it just so happens to be your favorite movie. Ah he really was listening!
- Got act together. We are not material girls, at least we shouldn’t be. At the same time, we should be selective and want a man that is gainfully employed, doesn’t ride a 10-speed. His finances are in order, maybe owns a home, but maybe he has his own apartment. Something that tells you he has ambition and is responsible. Does he work, is it a good job. It could be a McDonalds manager, I am not downgrading anyone. But come one if you want to go out with me you must have a J.O.B.
- Work history: Ok so we know he has a J.O.B., but what is his history with work. Does he jump around and goes periods where there is no work, or does he have a 35-year-old pension because he has worked at the same company his whole life. During this economy I realize there are men that are out of work and I am not dissing anyone. But realistically, if you are having problems with work, you don’t need to be thinking about dating for now. There are other priorities you need to think about. I went on a date with a man who was on GR and true story, took me out to eat on his EBT card. That ended real fast.
- Great close relationship with family and friends. If everyone in his life has abandoned him, even his mother. Then you need to wonder why. No friends either, wow. Unless he is new to the area, he should have family somewhere, right? Be wary if you are not introduced to anyone.
Remember, we are asking for some great qualities so you have to think about what are you bringing to the table. Nobody in this world is perfect, we are going to have flaws. Growth is about recognizing those flaws and always working to make you the best you can be,.