Separating from my husband made me face an ongoing issue I have struggled with since I can remember,I have depression. The kind of depression Robin Williams suffered from.
Going through a devastating challenge like realizing my husband was now in love with someone else, didn’t work great with this depression.
Life was never easy for me. I married an abusive man, raised my two children, went to work, lather, rinse repeat. Life became a routine. Yes, my severe battle with depression was bad, but I could smile and jest and fool the world. Well, except for my daughter who asked me one time if I could smile more as we were going to After School Night. She wanted me to not act like a robot.
I made it my mission to be much more fun with my children after she said that. I played more, read more stories, played pretend and just really tried hard to make it seem like I wasn’t hurting all the time.
Fast forward to several years ago. My husband of almost 30 years no longer wanted to be married to me, never loved me. In fact was in love with someone younger and fine I could live in the same house with him, but he made damn sure I knew that I better respect his wishes that it was over and reminded me he had a great new life to live and no, it didn’t include me. So I could stay at the house his mother left him as long as I didn’t start any problems with his new woman, and the ones he kept on the side. Did I mention that my kids are now adults didn’t need stories read to them at bedtime?
Up until four years ago, I never realized what a tough job it was just getting through life. My children may beg to differ, but there was no hiding from this thing called depression now.
My new journey in life is about starting over. The hard thing was how do you do that when there are days you can barely lift your head off the pillow.
This is my journey. My journey upwards that is.
How You Feel
and never give up…