TRUST…

Some areas I have not tapped into working on. Some areas are still scary and hurt. It is scarier and more painful than abuse to me.

Trust.

I was just told, in order to properly heal, I have to mourn the end of one relationship before starting a new one. One step further, for up to six months!

The concept of being alone is this to “find myself”. What exactly am I finding? What does this mean? Am I on the back of a milk carton reported missing? Because last time I checked, I never left.

Oh the webs we weave, ok! My quest for love continues. It is a journey that I continue to climb the highest mountain in pursuit of.

The mountain I left didn’t have it, my husband. I climbed it all the way to the top. Oh, what a jagged, rocky high mountain it was. Full of peaks and loose rocks. So many times I lost my footage, but I continued my climb. I was sure that I would find what I was looking for.  If I pushed forward and could just reach the top.  But two peaks up, and I would fall three peaks down.

Visions of sugarplums dance in my head. They are dancing around and they seem so real, the sweet sugary taste tantalize my taste buds and I want to consume them up. The deep frosty purple glisten as they swirl round and round threatening to burst with the sweet nectar they are filled with.