You Make Me Feel Stupid When You Act So Gaga Over Her

Trust me, I realize i resonate with the word “broken record”. I try to brush it off but when I see my ex jump around running for his phone, dash out the door and answer to his girlfriends every whim…grrr it goes through me.

How does one not feel inferior when you see that your ex can treat a woman lovingly, the worst feeling is realizing, wow, he really never loved me..

A Date? Does That Mean I Have To Brush My Hair?

Are you one of those people where it shows that you have been single for too long. Quick run to a mirror and tell me what you see. I did just that, and I thought, what if someone dashing prince in shining armor showed up at my door and said, “Darling, jump on my stallion and let’s go on a date.”

Would I swing the door open? Heck No! I would do a mad Matrix and turn out all the lights, and crawl behind the couch and hide.

As I stood in the mirror, I did an evaluation from head to toe what would have to happen before I could swing that door open…starting at my feet.

Feet: Full on pedi! And when I say full on, I mean FULL ON! I am talking bring out the sandblaster for my calloused. Replace the polish that I put on three months ago. Scrape all that stuff off.

Legs: Any teachers need a chalkboard? Not only are they hairy, but dang are they dry and chalky. I need a good razor and some very rehydrating lotion.

My Nature: Not to be TMI…Does anyone have a weed wacker? Yeah I know, but when you don’t have a man, why bothers,

Face: Ok I am just going to say it, when did all this hair get out of control, I have the unibrow with whiskers coming on strong,

Hair: Do I embrace the gray or dye it away?

Let’s not even start on my body. Wow when did I get that flab pocket here and there…

Yeah, I am not going on any dates soon, I am going to need at least a thousand dollars for a make over…