Are you one of those people where it shows that you have been single for too long. Quick run to a mirror and tell me what you see. I did just that, and I thought, what if someone dashing prince in shining armor showed up at my door and said, “Darling, jump on my stallion and let’s go on a date.”
Would I swing the door open? Heck No! I would do a mad Matrix and turn out all the lights, and crawl behind the couch and hide.
As I stood in the mirror, I did an evaluation from head to toe what would have to happen before I could swing that door open…starting at my feet.
Feet: Full on pedi! And when I say full on, I mean FULL ON! I am talking bring out the sandblaster for my calloused. Replace the polish that I put on three months ago. Scrape all that stuff off.
Legs: Any teachers need a chalkboard? Not only are they hairy, but dang are they dry and chalky. I need a good razor and some very rehydrating lotion.
My Nature: Not to be TMI…Does anyone have a weed wacker? Yeah I know, but when you don’t have a man, why bothers,
Face: Ok I am just going to say it, when did all this hair get out of control, I have the unibrow with whiskers coming on strong,
Hair: Do I embrace the gray or dye it away?
Let’s not even start on my body. Wow when did I get that flab pocket here and there…
Yeah, I am not going on any dates soon, I am going to need at least a thousand dollars for a make over…