My Mother Came to Me Last Night

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Tomorrow marks one week that my mother was taken from my life yet I was not prepared for her to come to me. I cried out into the night, “Momma!” I wailed her name over and over so hard my entire body shook. When I stopped I was told that my mothers love is reaching out to me at this time and holding me close. She knows how much I miss her and wants to remind me that our special bond of love can never be broken.

Her love lives on forever and she will continue to nurture me, protect me and keep me on path at this time of my life. She loves me and never left me.”

Then a song started and I thought that the song would give me an extra message but was taken aback:

I need to take the light back inside you stole, you’re a criminal and you steal like you’re a pro. All the pain, I was broken and all the bruises, I’m so ashamed…

Wait, what kind of message was that. I hurt her? She hurt me? I didn’t understand until it continued and by the bullets of phrases I heard, it was spot on.

But now I’m a warrior…stronger than I’ve ever been…and you can never hurt me again! so ashamed so bruised…there’s a part of me that I can never get back and I’ll never be the same…I’m taking back my life today…Nothing left you can say, cause you were never going to take the blame anyways….

OH GOD it was my momma

There is one person in my life that never even pretended to like my ex, the fact that he was cruel and treated her daughter so bad went through her and she hated that piece of sh*t didn’t deserve me she would say. She would always tell me she did not raise me watching abuse so why did I feel I deserved that.

Momma, I know can hear me. Thank you for this, thank you for being such a strong woman, at times you were too strong but I realize now you had been through a lot and you were a warrior and your toughness on me was because to thicken my skin.

Momma, I am leaving, in fact I am packing right now. You raised a warrior momma, I won’t be taking nobody’s shit ever again.

Thank you momma, you are my savior who made me a warrior and prepared me for the fight of my life. To leave the home of my ex who after years of verbal and physical abuse left me for someone else. I see my worth now, my momma would had never taken this shit. She stood up for her children, always put them first over any man. She was one tough cookie so when my ex spats at me that I am going to end up like my mom, alone. I will say, thank you … and by the way that is independent….