Is This My Life, 50ish and Alone

It is four a.m. and I sit here in my cute sweet condo. My room is decorated in Victorian style, I have a zen patio. I have a wonderful job that I have held for 28-years. I have two grown beautiful children who are hard-working, I have a 20-month old grand baby that has a personality that will keep you in stitches. So, why so sad?

I wonder that myself, am I ungrateful? I know so many people would love my life and here I am on my antique victorian bed with plush burgandy silk linen…in tears. I am lonely.

I have nobody to share this with.

I am a messy person, but when I moved here it was all about changing my ways, I decorated this place top to bottom. I would wash my dishes as soon as I ate, everything back to its place. But the depression started to sink in. And little by little I found my dish isn’t washed, the bed isn’t made, my nightly routine of hand cleaning my wood floors had stopped and I find myself on the couch watching Netflix.

Well today will be different. Me and my two friends are buying tickets on the Amtrak and heading to San Juan Capistrano.

Think different, I tell myself. Seek out my friends, they are there. They never left me, the ones I sit around alone waiting for do not respond, they have lives and a single older female is not someone they choose to spend time with. That is ok, so be it…San Juan Capistrano here I come….CHOO CHOO!

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