9/11 May We Never Forget…The Unity That Came After

160531_EM_flagsAfter 9/11 we did not shrink

they thought they would punk us

get us to retreat and hide

thought we would stop flying

and never go outside

instead we hung our flags out

and let them wave freely

We were told to be brave

We grieved and rebuilded

Evil did not win…we did

We were not Republicans

We forgot we were Liberals

Instead we became united

We are Americans

We were not built by fear

seventeen years later

a small child is sobbing

ripped from his mother

these brown skinned monsters

they rape they kill

ahhhh we feel safe now

cage them up

build that wall

Lord Save Us From them

Have you seen them pick fruit

so dangerous to us all

Our president fears these small brown

immigrants

more than a category 4 hurricane

why else did he take millions

to build more cages and walls

taken from FEMA

as hurricane season

is creeping up this Fall

WHICH IS SCARIER TO YOU?

 

 

 

 

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Is There Such A Thing As Being Single Too Long?

cartoon-costume-cuddly-toy-4142Decades ago, it was unheard of to not have a husband. They used to call you “Spinster”. Nowadays, the trend seems to be, “You don’t need a man to be complete.” What changed?

Women becoming independent and self-supporting has something to do with it. More imortantly women realizing they don’t need to put up “with his shit”, like the June Cleavors of the old day’s.

I can remember after the end of the first relationship I had after my husband, I was given the advice to stay single for six months to learn to be alone. WHAT! IMPOSSIBLE! WHO WILL WASH MY BACK? WHO WILL OPEN MY JARS? SEX! DON’T I NEED SEX? SORRY BUT ME AND PLASTIC…IT IS JUST NOT HAPPENING!

It’s been almost five years of being single, and what concerns me is, how did six months turn into five years. I tell myself there are no quality single men. What is quality?

* Have a decent job

* Have a home

* A bike isn’t their main source of transportation.

* Kind

* Fun

* Faithful

* Appealing to me

Then the question becomes, why don’t I give men the chance when that do have those qualities and pursue me?

Have I lost my mojo because maybe I have been single too long? Have I lost faith in men in general? Do I feel worthy and believe a quality man could stay happy with me?

I look in the mirror and in those five years noticed I have crossed the bridge and am in the category of “older woman”. The pickens are definately getting slimmer. Maybe I have got too comfortable being alone. At the same time, I miss that connection with another human being…

Am I staying single because it is safer. Safe from getting hurt, rejected…

Maybe…

Quick Guide To Mexican Cheese

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Have you ever thought about getting real ethnic and make a traditional Mexican meal and then you get to the Mexican cheese section and your head starts spinning; Queso Fresco, Panela, Oaxaca, Cotijo…

You just figured out cheese food is not real cheese now you encounter this? Not to worry, this Latina is going to give you the most  comprehensive guide. When people taste your food they will no longer think you went through the drive through at Taco Bell.  (BTW, I love Taco Bell, please no hate mail.)

Continue reading “Quick Guide To Mexican Cheese”

TIME TO SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY….

Starting Over After 50

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TIME TO SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY

What the hell have I been whining about. It has been like two or three weeks that I have been on my pity potty whining like a one year old who lost her pacifier.

“I’m lonely!”

“I’m afraid of the dark!”

“It’s dark, somebody hold me!”

Come on what am I three? Maybe I need to stop wearing my Sponge Bob jammies with the feet in them and start wearing my see through black lacy teddy and start strutting my stuff through my apartment and act like a big girl! Ok at least just some flannels.

Today is the day that I stomp my feather high heel slipper on the floor and say enough is enough! No more I’m lonely blogs! No more dragging my poor Happy Princess 26 year old daughter and holding her hostage to save “mommy” and watch the Voice…

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Road Trip To Self Love…Buddhism

It has been one week that I (ran away from home) to find my brave. I have battled the frigid cold, wind, lived on Ensure for a couple of days. I had to find a thrift store because I packed like it was Summer and silly me, it is still Winter in San Bernardino. But I am surviving.
 
A monastery I found called me day before yesterday and invited me over for lunch. I had left the a note seeking counsel as I had been battling depression for my entire life and that was the reason I left. My depression returned and I was hearing everything from I had been faking for attention to being scolded for not being strong enough to snap myself out of it had pushed me to the edge. thoughts of ending it had begun to be my daily norm and that scared me. This invitation was a God send.
 
Jay informed me to arrive by 10:30 a.m. and stated that the monks loved cheeseburgers, so bring plenty.
 
When I arrived, there stood an elderly man with orange fabric draped over his body and an orange head wrap. He stood still and at first glance I thought he was a statue. His skin was very bronze. I parked and he commanded me, “Come, now!” Oh shit, I thought, grabbed the cheeseburgers and followed him into the house.
 
The elder I learned, was Ajahn, meaning master or teacher. A large bearded gentleman came in, “I’m Jay, we spoke on the phone.” Jay would stay by my side the entire time to guide me on etiquette, translation and guidance.
 
We stepped over to very colorful artifact of candles, Buddhas, flowers, insense…so many things. Jay guided me to light three incense sticks and I knelt on the floor while Adjan had me repeat what he was saying three times. He only spoke Thai and it was hard repeating what he said.
 
This was a ceremony for offering my cheeseburgers to them. I put my hands together in praying form and mumbled what he was saying as it was in Thai and I had no idea how to say them. A few times he would say something over loud, I guess I said it wrong. Then at one point as a blessing he wopped me on the head with a wet small broom.
 
At the end, he tied a red yard bracelet on my wrist.  I thought, yay, let’s eat. Not the case.
 
In come in two ladies with bowls and bowls of food. Then we were instructed to sit back and Ajahn hit this big gong and the Monks came in and sat at the table. The monks eat first and when they are done they invite us over to the four corners of the tables and we hold on to the table and we started praying getting permission to eat what the monks left.
 
Everything was spicy, but I did try almost everything. This is when I started talking to Chinda, she was the wife of the president to the Wat Buddhavas. She was curious who I was and I explained that I was tent camping nearby. Oh like Pratyeka Buddhas, Jay explained those were the Buddhist who retreat into nature to enlighten themselves. Jay explained my entire situation with my permission.
 
Chinda got very emotional. She explained that I was there for a reason. She and her entire family suffer from depression. She had a son at 16 commit suicide. Then her mother was found in her bed by her brother stabbed and mutilated. The entire family’s depression has become worse but thanks to the teachings of Buddha, she is getting better without medication.
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The rest of the day we walked around the beautiful peaceful grounds and did some rituals and praying and meditation.
 
It is early morning the next day and I am going to get ready and go over there again. I came to my tent and fell asleep early. I was so exhausted. Jay left me with one phrase:
 
Who is there for you with love and compassion when you are sick, hold onto them, that is life’s way of showing you who is true.