Do you Remember the first day we met So shy I didn’t want to meet you They took me kicking and screaming Forced me to sit right next to you I kept my head down eyes down Eye contact with a boy? No way But Your persistence fed my void Your popularity fed my lineliness … Continue reading Letter to My Ex
Staying In Abuse Has Destroyed Me I have been seeking treatment after treatment trying to kill this depression because it wants to kill me. Over two decades of psych wards, prescription after prescription and all the side effects and slowly loved ones pull away, why isn’t she better. When I was 18 it started, the … Continue reading I’m Not Crazy I Was Abused for 25 Years!
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I’m convinced that half the world is running around Bipolar yet undiagnosed.
When I proved to my husband’s girlfriend that he was cheating on her (you read right), I had to lock myself in my room because I was afraid of further abuse. I said, why are you angry, you said she was only a friend. He tried to kick the door down, screamed for my daughter saying I was off my meds. Everyone sided with him. My daughter grabbed my phone, like he told her, and wiped out everything…even irreplceable photos. Continue reading
In my life I have learned that you cannot make someone feel what you want them to feel for you. I have also learned that when you don’t seem to get the message they can get mean and inhumane about you pursuing them. Move on girls. When they don’t want you they don’t want you. Damn it hurts, but we have to cut that tie. Just like that old cliche’ goes. They are just not into us anymore…
I watched this movie called Labor Day and it is about a wife who got left by her husband because she was in love with love, her heads were in the clouds about love. She wanted to dance and be held and feel alive with a man but later on in the movie because the husband left, he apologizes to their son for leaving his mother. He tells him that his mother was a beautiful woman but he just couldn’t give her that special love she needed. So happens a prisoner takes them hostage one Labor Day weekend and they fall in love…I know, I know farfetched but oh so beautiful and romantic the way taught her to squish those peaches to make peach pies…hmmmm.
I always waited for my husband to approve of me to make me feel beautiful, it never came. Therefore I was never beautiful. Instead he cheated on me, why would he cheat on me? If I were more beautiful he wouldn’t cheat on me, huh? If only I had a better butt, my butt was as flat as a board, he would laugh at me and call me typewriter butt, because it was flat and wide. Did I say he would laugh? I think I was also supposed to laugh too. I would try to laugh because he said, that is a good one huh, I thought of it myself, so I would try to laugh.
THE HARDEST WORDS… The hardest words to hear Blinking through bruised eyes Still tasting the metallic taste of your blood “But what did you do to make him so mad?” If you or someone you know is being physically, emotionally or sexually hurt, please reach out. The following resources are available 24 hours. … Continue reading THE HARDEST WORDS TO HEAR…