To tell or not to tell, that is the question. If you suffer from Depression, Bipolar or other diseases of the mind, do you tell someone you want to date?
When is the right time to tell them? Before you date? On the first date? Or when you feel you know them better?
Is this deceiving them?
If the tables were turned, would you want to know?
Why do you feel you have to hide it from them?
This is a tough question, especially if you are dating with purpose. What is your criteria on if to or not to tell? Maybe you feel it is not their business, or is it because you fear rejection? So lets buy some time and date for awhile and see if you feel serious enough about this person to let him know such a personal side of you. So is it wrong to give it time so the other person starts to feel feelings and how dare you allow me to develop feelings for you only to find out you are mentally ill.
This is just an article to open your eyes to what people with a mental illness face when dating. I remember dating this guy and we both developed feelings. In the midst of telling her all the wonderful things he was doing and how happy I was, she asked, “Does he know you have Bipolar?”
I looked at her with hurt and disgust. “Mom, you think he would care? He said he loved me.” That night I told him, by the way I am Bipolar, not the bad kind. I get depressed.” Why didn’t I notice the silence after that. He said he had a migraine and had to go home. Ok, I did know he had migraines. Ok, he should go home and lay down, I thought.
A week went by, then a month…no call…didn’t answer MY calls. It died. He left me like my husband.
My last text to him was, I am the same person you fell in love with, I didn’t change…
you did. Thank you for helping me see the real you.
Alone with my thinking
darkness stretches all nightlong
This is how my evenings stretch
but I continue to be strong
My shell looks unscathed
in one solid piece with no flaws
but if my skin were transparent
the world would see it all
Crimson red from rips in my heart
tear ducts shriveled and parched
the quiet pain and torment
leaving my soul void and famished
Ask me how I’m doing
my eyes crinkle smiling large
“Fine, but how are you?”
relief depression shows no scars
Alone with thoughts
just another day
disguising I’m really ok
but inside I feel so far away
This is so hard to watch, many will turn it off immediately and think, how negative! Consider it more negative if we continue to dismiss that suicide increases by leaps and bounds everyday. Why is that when there are so many new pills out. Shouldn’t these depressed people get over it by now. Geez, aren’t we tired of their attention seeking Debbie Downer attitude.
And that my friend is the reason that that approximately 96 people take their own lives everyday. This is especially from those who have suffered from depression for decades, like myself. 47 years of reaching out, takes its toll on those who have to listen, I know this. So the depressed, seeing people pull away from them, find themselves isolated and instead keep their dark thoughts to themselves. They have burdened every friend, family member and wow…they see they don’t feel better, in fact because of the isolation and loneliness… it is actually worse.
Medications are not the solution, trust me, they do not work for most of us. If one talks to those who survived depression they all answer the same thing. The medication doesn’t work but more so, there are so many loss of connection.
The stigma against people with any type of disease that is in our heads is making it so people stop reaching out. If you are like me and have suffered all your life, people get tired of hearing about it. Many times you hear, if you really wanted to do it, you would have done it. You are seen as an attention seeker and get to the point where you just stop reaching out and eventually you become so isolated that you begin the believe the lies your brain is telling you.
At the end of the video is a hotline if you or somebody you love suffers…please call. Suicide is not the solution and believe it or not there are people out there that care. Don’t let peoples ignorance or cruelty push you. Reach out…just never stop trying….
SUICIDE IS PREVENTABLE!
Special acknowledgement to Spoken Poet, Joyner Lucas in “I’m Sorry”. I never heard of him and not sure how I came across this, but wow! I was captivated. It is about time we have a person in the industry that isn’t just about Blow me ho! or Shake dat azz and such. His music has a real message that we cannot continue to run from because it makes us uncomfortable.
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