Quotes To Move On


“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me”  Carol Burnett

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts”. Eleanor Roosevelt

“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.” H.G. Wells

“To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on.” Dave Pelzer

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Lewis B. Smedes

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” Denis Waitley

“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.” Anne Roiphe

We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.” Marcel Proust

“Healing takes Courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” Tori Amos

“Feeling sorry for ourselves is the most useless waste of energy on the planet. It does absolutely no good. We can’t let our circumstances or what others do or don’t do control us. We can decide to be happy regardless.” Joyce Meyer




When Will You Ever Heal?



What happened to the girl that I was 4 years ago? I was on top of the world, shooting out blogs, feeling empowered, being independent. Four years later I find myself renting a room from my ex. Yeah, I know laugh, I would too if it weren’t so darn humiliating.  How did it get to this?

With my income, and jet-setting here and there traveling (so I maxed out some credit cards), I found myself unable to afford my apartment. Renting a room from families I did not know was a disaster so when my ex said he would rent me a room for $200 a month! I jumped on it.  He told me I would have the money to pay off bills, travel…it seems like all the answers to my prayers.

There was one problem. The friend he called friend…that was a girl…turned out to be a girlfriend. This information did not become public until after we became intimate…yeah, yeah more on that later.

I would be on the couch watching television and I saw him showering and whoah, the amount of cologne he put on reminded me of the old disco days where the men bathed in Polo and shirt buttons left open to expose the Tom Selleck like chest hairs. I would sit there thinking, don’t say anything, don’t say anything. I almost made it but as he headed out the door I heard my self calling out sarcastically, have fun.

Then there came little Tupperware containers of food she cooked for him. Now I am not one to brag but, I am pretty damn good and what she was making him made my daughter and I laugh.

Around Valentines day I saw him rush in with a shopping bag…was it Victoria’s Secret?

Wait, why was all this bothering me? Was I, uh, jealous? OH MY GOD! My stomach would turn and I would want to say something sarcastic. But then it got worse I found myself truly sad. I don’t think I wanted him back but I didn’t like how he was wining and dining her and getting all fixed up.

I am really depressed and feeling how unfair life is. My marriage is truly over and I am having a hard time dealing with it. Was this why I was led back? Was this my lesson that he was putting it in my face that he has moved on and I have no choice but to do the same.

One step forward, two steps back. Ok, there is going to be times you feel like you are back sliding but it should serve as a reminder of what you should not go back to. I never want to live with the pain I had to deal with everyday, Breathe, this too shall pass.

Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of you history, but not part of your destiny.

Steve Maraboli


No Apology, Who Cares I Can Still Heal!

rose%20with%20sun%20and%20clouds[1]Oh if only he would repent for effing around with that two bit ho from across the street after I dedicated  life to him and put him through college. Just a little remorse would soften the blow.

Maybe he spent your life’s savings. Or Made you the laughing stock of the family. Or worse he hurt you physically so bad and made it so public.

The worst apologies are the ones that never come but do you know those are the most necessary ones.

Always remember we forgive those apologies the most, the ones that never come. We forgive for us because we need to heal. We forgive because we need to release resentment.

Those are the apologies we need to forgive the most. And for Pete’s Sake, get that look off your face. You think holding on onto your resentment makes you strong, bitter is more like it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean your are a wimp, it releases you from negativity….

Are Your Tears Creating Your Reality?


We heard it time again, we create our reality. Sounds simple, then why do we continue to ruminate on misery?

Do we love it, is it comfort, do we even know how to be positive?

Today is a new day. As thoughts of self pity came into my head I actually said aloud,”Stop it”, and forced myself back to the present.  Seconds later again. It was a battle in my head. It went back and forth, my brain was a yo-yo.

Guess what, I was not 100% successful but I was 90% more positive because I didn’t ruminate in the negative. I was successful in the fact that I didn’t allow thedoomy gloomy thoughts take over like they usually do.

If I can do it so can you. As soon as negative, self defeating thoughts peek in I say, “Stop” and bring myself to the now. I become aware of my surroundings. I wasn’t depressed today, although my mind keeps trying to take me there.

Guess what brain, I OWN YOU AND I WILL MASTER CONTROLLING YOU..and so can you. I challenge everyone to try.





In my life I have learned that you cannot make someone feel what you want them to feel for you.  I have also learned that when you don’t seem to get the message they can get mean and inhumane about you pursuing them.  Move on girls.  When they don’t want you they don’t want you.  Damn it hurts, but we have to cut that tie.  Just like that old cliche’ goes. They are just not into us anymore…

I used to wonder why was I given such a horrible man who causes me so much pain.  I am such a good loving wife.  I would follow him to the ends of the Earth.  No one will love him like I do, why does he hurt me so.  I endured this pain for 29 years and I am not going to lie, I still struggle with the thought of losing him.  I fight with thinking he is the most horrible man on the Earth for not treating me like a queen for loving him so much and treating me so bad and being with another woman now.  Really?

What if a man, any man, is placed in front of me and I am told, “Love this man!  Adore him!  Cherish the ground he walks on!”  And I look at this guy and I feel nothing, I mean really it is not my fault, I try but the sparks are just not there.  Is it my fault that I cannot put my arms around this dude and stick my tongue in his ear?  Ewwww, of course not.

It is in a way the same as someone who falls out of love.  It happens through no fault of their own, but all of a sudden they just don’t feel that spark so if you put yourself in their shoes, yikes, that is a lot of pressure.  I know, I know we don’t have a lot of sympathy for the other party and you are thinking who’s side am I on…yours of course.  I am just saying.

Why are we put through so much pain?  We feel like it is so unfair, we feel like we are the good innocent ones and he is the one that gets away with it, maybe he got the young pretty girl and he is the one that is walking around treating us like an asshole and we are the one sitting at home broken up in tears.  How is life so unfair.

My breakup to me was like going to hell and back and no I am not going to say the pain was a gift, but I am using the lesson of the pain as a gift because it has taught me the lesson of compassion.   Some people’s heart becomes bitter and hard with pain.  They themselves become hardened.  These are the people who I pray for because they feel they are winners, no one will ever hurt them again.  I, may probably be hurt again and it will be just as painful and it scares me but that can’t be my focus.  My focus is that I have become a better person towards not being a person that hurts people.  I am hypersensitive to people’s feelings.  My loving heart has grown.  I feel more than I felt before.

But most importantly if I were ever to get into a relationship and it occurred to me that I just did not feel for that person anymore.  I would not be that person that rubs a new person in their face.  I would be ultra compassionate because I am not so sick of them that I am just trying rid of them… no-no they are a human being going through pain like I remember going through and they need compassion…

I have come to understand why we have pain in our life.  I understand why those who have traveled the journey of pain and come out with a soft heart are one of the most beautiful souls on this Earth.  They have learned the true gift of compassion because it isn’t just a word from a dictionary to them.  They feel it from their very soul.  You realize that empathy is a powerful tool to help someone and console and lift someone up while sympathy can sometimes be an outsider looking in.

Today I am realizing that I needed that pain to learn what I know to today, and that is what I needed to grow where I am today.  I am a much more person too.  I have a courage I didn’t have before. I could never fathom the thought of being on my own and living by myself.  I would have been back at my mothers.  I don’t know what happened to me that I became such a co-dependant person.  I thought that because I left home at 17 I grew up fast but my husband became like a parent to me and I let him control me. If his word was the law, how was I independent.  Obviously  I am not that same person, and I didn’t realize that the wrong person, my husband, was teaching me the right lesson about life with the pain he put me through…indirectly…I thank you…and this will help me to forgive you.  And that  will help set me free….


housewife cleaning

Throw the Past Away

“I made the decision to move to a smaller place…much smaller”, let me repeat the most important part, “I made the decision…”  I am no longer a child.  Mother no longer tells me when to go to bed, what to eat, or where to live.  My daughter moved out of our two bedroom apartment and I found myself paying a lot of money for an apartment that I found myself just sleeping in.  It felt like I was throwing money in the wind.

So why is it that packing is such torment to me.  I start and watch television or pick up my Face Book or do something unnecessary.  I actually sat there and read an article on how to pack.  Come on Catalina, just stop thinking and do it!  Nobody can help me because nobody knows what I want to keep, give away or toss, the part of sorting belongs to me.  When it comes to moving will be when I need the help.

Guess what.  I found out something about myself.  I have accumulated a lot of nothing, of knick-knacks that were useful for one time.  Pink beads that I was going to blind a sweater with, I don’t even own a pink sweater.  Lots and lots and lots of Valentine day ribbon, Ok I have ribbons for the next 20 Valentine days.  Gee I have been single for 2 ½ years so far, this may last me a long time.

Could this move have been a unconscious plan that was necessary, because I was starting to live in clutter.  I am a shopaholic and will buy the silliest things. I spent $100 on Halloween decorations for my desk and now have 3 huge bins and need to find a place to store them and I have to downsize and supposed to be saving money.  What is wrong with me.

This move is a higher calling.  I am torn, I am emotional but this is necessary for me.  During this process I will be looking at my belongings and realize item by item…is this necessary in your life or is this something from your past that you need to let go because it has lost its purpose.  Let the past go.  Earrings that someone gave me that have no match that I can not wear ever but I hold on because why.  Why am I holding on to it.  I don’t know.  A bottle of champagne from my anniversary 8 years ago that my husband and I went to the Madonna in and my husband slept the time and neither of us drink.  We are no longer together.  Why am I holding on to this.  Do I hold on to pictures of he and I together:?  I don’t know.  I don’t know how to do any of this.  Am I a hoarder?  I know you can walk through my house and it isn’t a path you need a compass with and you don’t need giant bins to clear it out and there isn’t feces everywhere.

But this hurts to let go part of me as trivial as it sounds, what does this mean, I don’t know.  It means that this is a journey I was meant to have.  Out with the old.  Let go of it.  The past is the past and that one earring means nothing and that bottle of champagne does nothing but remind me of what a horrible anniversary I had.  It is time to throw out all those bad memories and start afresh.  Is that why I am finding dimes Oh Lord?  I am on the right path aren’t I?  Ok I will stop fighting this move and see this as a positive thing.  Today will be a productive day and tossing doesn’t mean tossing my soul, it is making room for much more experiences…  Tah Dah…  Marvelous how we can turn things around in our head just like that if we try!!!  Have a blessed day!!




Suppose your man left you for another woman. Suppose it hurts you to the core. Or maybe he just left you and you are still hurting. Whatever the reason, you are hurting and you want it to stop already. What are we supposed to do to get over the pain.

I heard about forgiveness exercise where you lay down, close your eyes and do vision work. Well I was angry and I was hurting and I thought, I need to puke this forgiveness thing and do it now…

Just so happens I was on the freeway heading towards downtown Los Angeles.

As I got to 65 mph, I  hollered at the top of my lungs, “I wish pure love and happiness for my ex because he deserves it”.  No, I didn’t mean it.  Anyways, I said it again, and I said it again, over and over. I can’t tell you how far I drove, but it had to be over 25 miles.  I had the momentum going.  I was yelling from my gut, my heart but more importantly, I was wanting to believe it. It wasn’t  because I feel they deserve it but because I hurt so freaking much and just wanted to stop hurting already!!! So I yelled and yelled over and over how I wished him love and happiness. At first it hurt so bad to say it because no I didn’t want any of that for him, but the more I said it, something happened. My throat started to get parched from hollering so much, but my stomach started hurting less. So I got daring and threw in “and I forgive him as a person”, boy did that hurt but again I said it over and over.

When my drive was over, it was dusk. I was parched and I grabbed some water and went to bed. I was physically and emotionally spent.

Something felt very different about me, I can’t explain it. That tension that I had felt in my stomach for so long was gone.

That next morning I actually forgot about my drive. I saw a cheese cake my daughter made and I was joking that her berries were not uniform and we need to get a ruler so we could spread them out evenly. She looked at me and she asked if I was drunk. She was laughing. I realized that I was really being silly and felt much lighter. A feeling of AHHHHH, is all I could explain it as. I have no technical term for this therapy that I did on the fly except, Scream the truth till it doesn’t hurt!

The concept, I picked something I was hurt and angry about and I hollered and hollered good things about this person until the pain in the pit of my stomach went away. I started a path of forgiveness. My pain was definitely eased. I needed to hurt less and it sure seemed that is exactly what happened. Wow.  They say we have to learn to forgive, not for them, but for ourselves….