MORNING WITHOUT A MAN!!!

Happy Morning Agains

Morning Without a Man 3.11.13

Anyone see Bridesmaids, where the main character wakes up with her booty call man, she sets up her alarm before his and jumps up brushes her hair, fixes her make-up and hurries back in bed before his alarm goes off laying down in a pretend to be asleep pose. Her booty call man wakes up and then wakes her up and is amazed at how well she looks in the morning.

Well at least we don’t have that problem anymore. Heck at the end if we were with our man long enough we didn’t care what we looked like anymore…but a lot of us did find comfort that we had a warm body next to us. Not all of us. Some few had their own rooms. But even then there may have been a certain comfort that there was a warm body just within our touch.

I was a morning snuggler, so waking up alone was hard for me. Mornings were catch up on conversation times for us. That moment was gone so mornings were hard for me. You ever see movies where the character is slowly coming to in the morning and reaches over feeling for the spot where the man, woman should be laying and it is empty and they sit up…where are they. I don’t do that, but that is how I felt. I had to reprogram my mornings. Mornings are my topic.

Mornings are the most important part of the day and when you are reaching over and feeling sad cause you are alone, well heck you are just messing up the rest of the day. Louise Hay says the first hour of the day is the most crucial part of the day. Mornings set the mood for the rest of your day…hence the saying…wake up on the wrong side of the bed???

Mornings need to be important …spiritually important. No, no we are not going door with our brief case preaching the good word. Please no feedback, I am not knocking it. I have read the Watch Tower and the Awake Pamphlet and no not like your husband who said they read Penthouse for the articles, I really read it. They have some good messages. I have a good respect for everyone’s religion, I myself like to say I am not religious, but I am very very spiritual.

First of all are you one of these? Your alarm goes off…you think aww…5 more minutes so you hit snooze, alarms goes off aww hit snooze, goes off aww hit snooze, hit snooze, hit snooze…

Oh shit!!! You hit it one too many times! Gonna be late, where’s this, where’s that, shove toast in my face…haul butt 200 mph per hour and sneak in work 20 minutes late. Man tomorrow I better get up when the alarm goes off the first time…HA HA Yeah right! You are going to do the same thing the next day and the day after and so on and so on!

Know what you need? Either your momma or a drill sergeant. But you are an adult and you want to change don’t you? Can you say let me try this one time…just one time? Then see how you feel. You don’t have to do it again…Ok? We want to change your life we are not trying to hurt you.

Where was I going with all this? Mornings! We are going to create a new morning structure for those who are finding difficulties with their mornings. How we can make our mornings better. (Here’s a tip for you coffee drinkers…get the kind with a timer so it will be brewing when you wake up)

1. Alarms goes off. FIRST TIME! Turn off…Rip off the snooze button if you have too. Who invent that darn thing! No go tinkle…First things first and Mother Nature is always first. We will be waiting when you get back.
2. Stretch. You don’t have to be fancy, you don’t have to be no Yogi master…Just stretch. We want to get the ol’ blood flowing. Reach up to the sky. Touch your toes. Do waist twists (side to side). You be your own choreographer just stretch for 5-10 minutes…not hard.
3. Make your bed.
4. Sit on your bed (This one might need practice…jk)
5. Get a mirror and look deep into your eyes…I know I joke a lot but I am being serious on this.
Note: You can look at this as spiritual or you can look at this in the scientific manner. We are going to work on our self-esteem. We are going to convince ourselves at how wonderful we are because during break ups we forget. And that old concept of if you tell yourself something enough times, you start believing it. Well that is all we are going so don’t run scared on me now sister! So Atheists are welcome. If you are working on anger issues, this is the place to do it.
Many of you are not going to feel what you are saying, say it anyways. Heard the saying fake it till you make it. You don’t believe what you are saying, say it anyways…like a robot..who cares.
6. Say three times, “I love and approve of myself just the way I am!”
7. Thank you for ________________________________________ (Name five things you are grateful for. It could be anything. Good health, your parents, your job…)
8. Today I will be happy because__________________________(Name 1 reason you will be happy today for…you can think of something)

Note: If you are spiritual, this is your time to use for prayer and talk to God of your understanding.

9. Turn on some happy bouncy music and sing and bounce around as you get ready for work.
10. Have a great day…man…what man!
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LEARNING TO TRUST AGAIN!!

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LEARNING TO TRUST AGAIN 2.28.13

I just came out of a really bad relationship. Wow really bad. I knew I was not going to go commit into any relationships but I did want to date. The question I was running into in my head was a really big issue…trusting a man. Ya see in my head I felt if given the opportunity any man would cheat if given the opportunity if they knew they would never be found out…they would cheat. Sorry dudes out there, that is my thinking. It all goes back to Psychology 101 the gatherers and the hunters (some know what I am talking about) it is ingrained in their psyche, they can’t help it. So am I to accept every man is going to cheat on me and just be blind to it, wow that is really sad! I mean really it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are, look at Hale Berry, her man cheated on her. What were my chances????

Was I going to think every man I was dating was seeing me as only a flavor of the week? Here’s a concept, don’t give him any of your goods, is he still sticking around? If he is there, well that is a bit closer to knowing he may like you for you.

Because even though we try, once our hearts have been betrayed, it feels like it will never be the same. Trust someone again, yeah right and give them the chance to do the same thing? I will never ever let anyone play a fool out of me again. Stupid once, not twice. Sound familiar. >

Nobody is rushing anyone, this is future talk ok. Do take the time. But remember, never ever give up on love. It is out there. When you fall, you dust yourself off and you go another direction and you try again. Love is beautiful. We do not want to be those “No bra wearing Men Hating Bitter Women Liberist “ do we? Give it some time to heal and get back on your bicycle and go down another path. We cannot give up on it. Listen I am going to go out on a limb and go looking for maybe not marriage but someone that I really like and if it happens to turn into love, then that is my gift. I am not going out expecting it, would I like it, hell yeah I would like someone to fall in love with me, what woman doesn’t want that precious feeling. So I am not going to kick every man in the teeth that asks me out because I don’t trust him. Innocent till proven guilty…No? I’ll give him the rope, if he chooses to hang himself, well then that’s on him. I am a romantic and no I am not going to go out there acting like Inspector Sleuth checking up on him, now if he plain gives me a real good reason to that is telling me something is not right. Well then he is getting the Catalina FBI Investigative Maneuvers on his butt because THEN Catalina is not a fool. But till then, I am trusting 100%. I am not doing no crazy making on myself.

Yeah my heart was shattered, my trusting heart was betrayed and you would think it is like a mirror never to be fixed again, but I am picking up the pieces. As Jeaneade de La Fontaine quoted, “Sadness flies away with time.” Come on time, take this sadness away because this heart wants to be a loving and trusting heart again!!!

Motivating Yourself

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Motivating Yourself !! 10.26.18

This morning I woke up at 5 am, looked at the clock and pulled the blanket back over my head. I had my sponge Bob Square Pants jammies with the feet in them and just wanted to stay in my comfy bed. I don’t wanna face today, I thought. This had become my new routine.

Know what I used to do. Get up at 5 am like a bullet, crank up the Dixie Chicks or Adele and dance around the house getting ready for work and you would think I was getting ready for the prom the way I was curling my hair and putting on the war paint. Sometimes I would even take a lap around the block for exercise. When I left my apartment in the morning, I looked like a million bucks if I do say so myself!

As Ricky Ricardo used to say, What Happened??, I’ll tell you what happened. I lost my motivation, I got lazy, lost that gusto…I have become blah! I am a grown ass woman, mommy isn’t there to tell me when to get up, so I can make my own rule, OK!

Now, I go in at 8:00 am. I live close to my work so I could seriously lie in bed till seven and shower, shampoo and dress in 20 minutes and haul my butt to work running in no make-up, hair in a pony-tail looking like I felt, BLAH! A painting with no color. I was just there.

Somewhere down the line I forgot, I Catalina, determined how I feel by my attitude, and lately my attitude stunk. I got lazy and broke my healthy routine. I needed to start doing things I didn’t want to do. So this morning at 5 am I jumped up and forced myself and went for that walk. Boy was I glad I went, cause I was greeted by that glorious beautiful sun. I don’t know where you are, but I am in California and it is beautiful here. Man I swear God was with me. Both exercise and the Sun are antidepressants, why dive into pills when you can do it naturally.

Start your day earlier in the morning, make up your mind it’s going to be a fabulous day, take that morning walk, look up in the sky and give thanks to God (if you are spiritual).

The way you start your morning will affects your day so make it like Sponge Bob Square Pants would say, a Happy Happy Joy Joy Day!

Be Your Own Best Cheerleader!


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Be Your Own Cheerleader

Divorce, breaking up, separating, all this can do something to our self-esteem… don’t you agree?

Yeah…a year ago I was on a downward spiral going deeper and deeper not understanding why I could not find my way out of my pity potty hole.

So I went on the quest for happiness and self-esteem! I raided Barnes and Noble for every book from Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Joel Olstein, The Secret, name it go ahead name it, I bet it is on my book shelf.

Each page highlighted in yellow-green and blue. I read them from back to front and back again. Good books, I am not knocking any of them. In fact, I am here to tell you if you have the time, go out and get them and read them!!! OR. you can come to Catalina and she is going to be your Cliff Note and tell you that all these books kind of have the same message.

Getting back to the books. I refer to these books again because if you are human…not a martian…or whatever this separation is making ya feel a bit like a piece of poop isn’t it? It’s ok to admit it. One second you feel on top of the world, then you feel like crap, what did I do wrong, what could I have done different, why me, why me wah wah WAH!!!! ALRIGHT ALREADY WITH THE WAH WAHS!!

But you know what is happening don’t you, you know why you have shifted to that wah wah phase don’t you? Don’t you? You are putting yourself there! Let me explain.
1. Something bad happens to you. Your man left you.
2. Darn it hurts, makes you feel less than.
3. You keep on saying wah wah, I don’t feel so hot about myself, damn I me damn me, wah wah, negative thought negative thought.
4. You go lower and lower and lower.

Now comes the secret to the books, the Catalina Cliff notes cause she done read all them books fer you and she is gonna tell you the essence of them there books fer you so you don’t have to read all them effin books there!! NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN, NEVER SAY ANYTHING NEVER TO YOURSELF! Ok I’m don’t bye. Yes that is it. Think I am lying? If you start telling yourself wonderful stuff even if you don’t believe it guess what…you are going to believe it! For God’s sake give yourself a break! Damnit…yes it’s my blog I can cuss if I want, so Damn it you have been through the wringer enough, you have been in enough pain, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK NOW!!! Be good to yourself and whisper sweet nothings to yourself.

Let me tell you. I had to catch myself at first. Oh yeah be very very observant I would drop something and I would say, damn it (remember I can cuss if I want) I would say damn it I am so stupid…Ah Ha! Bad bad! Big no no. Something simple as that will affect your self-esteem. Listen to what you are saying to yourself. When I am doing nothing and I just repeat over and over and over especially when I am going to sleep. I love myself, I love myself, I love myself.

I am not joking it took me a year and yeah now and then I still have my slips and I will do a wah wah here and there but for the most part I realized that when I self-talk…ITS ALL POSITIVE!

Listen to yourself. Seriously…What are you telling yourself about yourself. Do you put yourself down? (Sad face) I am put that there because I know you do and I don’t even know you. Ok maybe I know you but it is true we are programmed to put ourselves down without even knowing it. You have to learn to learn to love the person you are just the way you are. You are saying, yeah right! I have this I need to change that I need to change…Well guess what until you accept yourself the way you are now and love yourself it is going to be really hard to change anything. You gotta learn to be your own best cheerleader in life!

Never Change You


Never Change You

This blog was to be the start of me in a sense growing up…going from dependent wife to super hero like Xena Princess Warrior able to fend off creditors and scandalous car repairmen in a single bound. How did that song go…I bring home the bacon…fry it up in a pan..cause I’m a woman!! From little hairy caterpillar to the beginning of the metamorphosis of becoming a beautiful butterfly!

Well my son seen my picture I used to go with my blog. If you are reading my blog you see it, my colorful rainbow outfit and pigtails and he said, “Mom if you want people to take you serious maybe you should change your picture.” You see I am wearing a Halloween costume of a Raver.

What!! People won’t take me in my “Rave” costume serious. I started thinking, should I be dressed like Michelle Obama? I guess even her little girls looked more professional than I did.

As I browsed through my albums I seen pictures of me dressed as a nerd or an Indian. I have pictures of me with kisses all over my face or I’m sporting a pink boa around my neck and I thought.

Through everything I have faced I never stopped being me. Catalina is eccentric, crazy spirited, laughter loving and this blog is about the true me. What you see is what you get.

Part of growing and learning to survive in this big huge world was becoming confident with myself and I did that by approving of myself JUST THE WAY I WAS! What was not to love?

I had always been a people pleaser and it was time to stop that and become a self pleaser. Time to learn to be happy with Catalina.

Bring on the rainbow tutus and plastic cigars, they defined my personality because laughter was part of who I am. It is important to never lose sight of you.

Maybe you were in a relationship so long you forgot who you are or in a relationship and were criticized so much that you felt you could not be yourself. It is time we took back our right to be who we are and love ourselves just the way God made us…cause remember…God don’t make junk!

I may have people that prefer not to spend time with me but it will not be because I am a mean person, have a mean spirit or am a bad person, it is because I don’t fit in the mold of the kind of person most of society feels I should. Haven’t I always wanted to be special? I guess I am. Ha!