Quoteable Celebrity Divorce Quotes! (They ought to know!)

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Who knows more about marriage and divorce, and marriage and divorce…CELEBRITIES!  I found these and thought some of them were quite clever.  Enjoy!

My husband and I have never considered divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce.

~ Joyce Brothers

Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

~ Robin Williams

She cried—and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

~ Tommy Manville

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. ~ Johnny Carson

My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.

~ Wendy Liebman

You don’t know a women till you’ve met her in court.

~ Norman Mailer

Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.

~ Joan Rivers

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

~ Woody Allen

Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.

–Richard Wagner

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I’m about $100,000 short.

~ Mickey Rooney

I’d marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he’d be dead in a year.

~ Bette Davis

Take this marriage thing seriously—it has to last all the way to the divorce.

~ Roseanne Barr

To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.

~ James Caan

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor