This blog is in response to the comments I received about the interview I did with a 47-year old single male. This was an interview about what do men really want from a woman. It started out on the right track about inner qualities but wait till you hear what happened.
I asked what do men really want out of a woman. I was quite surprised at how much he opened up and how frank he was.. The qualities I asked about were personality traits and made it clear to forget about beauty because this is what men always talk about. I was more concerned on the inner qualities.
After saying the sense of humor, affectionate etc, the interview ended up being about why women need to keep themselves groomed and beautiful and toned. If your weight is too high, she better lose it or her man’s eye is going to wander at women with tight clothes and bikinis. My interviewee was adamant also that a woman needs to take care of her significant others sexual needs because this too will make him stray when she doesn’t. I said, “You know this is going to create a backlash.” I said it playfully, but I knew it would.
Here are some comments I received in my blog but mostly my Face Book.
Claire from, lovetoreadlovetowrite703.net is a beautiful poet and writes about everything from dogs to avatars. Fascinating poet. But I loved what she commented, “Not too surprised. Men vary of course, but they do tend to be a lot more physically inclined than us.”
I agree, so we ask, are all men going to be eye wanderers because they are always looking for that green green grass?
A reader, who I will call, Mary, she stated the following: “I’ve always known men were that shallow…but to add to what he said, you can be that sexy eye candy to your man and fulfill all his sexual desires and be the ideal girl to him. Yet, a man will always find any excuse to stray. It’s sad but unfortunately it’s a risk you always have to be willing to take when it comes to being in a relationship. Men can just be shallow that way. Especially considering that no man will ever go out of their way to be what we want them to be or do what they know we like and would attract us. Yet, us women bend over backwards at times just fit this mold of wants. We even go the extra mile to just to keep them happy and satisfied! It’s hard!”
I really like that comment. Let’s look at Hale Berry and Sandra Bullock, there may have been other factors we don’t know about, but how do you keep up yourself more beautiful than that and still get betrayed?
A Mrs. Storm questioned, “Not all men are like that. I know my uncles & dad sure weren’t. Is the modern man like that?
Which ties in with Mr. Cole’s question, “I disagree with at least 3/4 of what he said. Period. Can you say around how old he is?” After I told him 47 he continues, “I don’t think most men, at least older men are that shallow”.
A Ms. Jimenez writes, “Some men are just immature.”
Say it Ms. Jimenez!
Another inspiring author from the blog theaccidentalpoet.net, commented, “Admittedly, I have often found myself looking at “fit” women more. I know that’s rather shallow, but somehow I feel as though I was wired that way. What I look for MOST in a woman, however, is someone who has love and respect for others, who has a grasp on spirituality, and who is creative and spontaneous. …Now in my mid 50’s, I am more interested in what’s on the inside than what’s on the outside. I was really drawn to “the body” of the woman in my teens and twenties. I like to think I’ve evolved somewhat in my “prime” years. This man knows his stuff, he has written forever but what is so inspiring is how his writing changed him. Read his blog to better understand his story, intriguing!
The accidental poet gives me a better understanding of what a good man should evolve into. He mentioned feeling he was “wired” to look at beautiful or fit women but as he matured it changed.
I knew he could pull it down for us, as well as Mr. Cole.
This is what it breaks down to, and I think this is more for the men but more for the women. There are men out there that are immature but that changes with age. Some men never mature to the fact that, as we age, we change, it is harder to keep weight off. As women are struggling to love their bodies, this is the message they feel.
Whip that body into better shape or he is gonna leave your ass!
So as women are we going to be with a man that makes you feel like Mary said, “bending over backwards?” information like this is damaging to our self-esteem. As it is women are always striving to look like that perfect 10 model, young girls are starving themselves.
Furthermore, no girl should ever feel she needs to perform like a porn star and having a rocking body better than Hale Barry because you know what, there are those immature men that are going to find another excuse to cheat. As women when a man says anything opposite of a compliment about the body that is part of who you are, you don’t walk, RUN AWAY FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP!
What men fail to mention is the ones that never matured psychologically, must not have a mirror because they look like they could be sporting a 7-month old baby themselves.
This is one of my better topics because it even opened up my eyes and I hope it opened up yours, there is just no pleasing some men and learn to spot that man a mile away.
Till next time…Ciao!