Tag Archive | Forgiveness

No Apology, Who Cares I Can Still Heal!

rose%20with%20sun%20and%20clouds[1]Oh if only he would repent for effing around with that two bit ho from across the street after I dedicated  life to him and put him through college. Just a little remorse would soften the blow.

Maybe he spent your life’s savings. Or Made you the laughing stock of the family. Or worse he hurt you physically so bad and made it so public.

The worst apologies are the ones that never come but do you know those are the most necessary ones.

Always remember we forgive those apologies the most, the ones that never come. We forgive for us because we need to heal. We forgive because we need to release resentment.

Those are the apologies we need to forgive the most. And for Pete’s Sake, get that look off your face. You think holding on onto your resentment makes you strong, bitter is more like it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean your are a wimp, it releases you from negativity….

SCREAM THE TRUTH…

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SCREAM THE TRUTH TILL IT DOESN’T HURT

Suppose your man left you for another woman. Suppose it hurts you to the core. Or maybe he just left you and you are still hurting. Whatever the reason, you are hurting and you want it to stop already. What are we supposed to do to get over the pain.

I heard about forgiveness exercise where you lay down, close your eyes and do vision work. Well I was angry and I was hurting and I thought, I need to puke this forgiveness thing and do it now…

Just so happens I was on the freeway heading towards downtown Los Angeles.

As I got to 65 mph, I  hollered at the top of my lungs, “I wish pure love and happiness for my ex because he deserves it”.  No, I didn’t mean it.  Anyways, I said it again, and I said it again, over and over. I can’t tell you how far I drove, but it had to be over 25 miles.  I had the momentum going.  I was yelling from my gut, my heart but more importantly, I was wanting to believe it. It wasn’t  because I feel they deserve it but because I hurt so freaking much and just wanted to stop hurting already!!! So I yelled and yelled over and over how I wished him love and happiness. At first it hurt so bad to say it because no I didn’t want any of that for him, but the more I said it, something happened. My throat started to get parched from hollering so much, but my stomach started hurting less. So I got daring and threw in “and I forgive him as a person”, boy did that hurt but again I said it over and over.

When my drive was over, it was dusk. I was parched and I grabbed some water and went to bed. I was physically and emotionally spent.

Something felt very different about me, I can’t explain it. That tension that I had felt in my stomach for so long was gone.

That next morning I actually forgot about my drive. I saw a cheese cake my daughter made and I was joking that her berries were not uniform and we need to get a ruler so we could spread them out evenly. She looked at me and she asked if I was drunk. She was laughing. I realized that I was really being silly and felt much lighter. A feeling of AHHHHH, is all I could explain it as. I have no technical term for this therapy that I did on the fly except, Scream the truth till it doesn’t hurt!

The concept, I picked something I was hurt and angry about and I hollered and hollered good things about this person until the pain in the pit of my stomach went away. I started a path of forgiveness. My pain was definitely eased. I needed to hurt less and it sure seemed that is exactly what happened. Wow.  They say we have to learn to forgive, not for them, but for ourselves….