I Promise You Todays with No Problems

20170430_075404I am awake late at night because my new kitty I just adopted is unsettled.

She paces my room like a caged lion and I yearn to gaze in her mind.

What is she feeling? What has she been through and what life has she had?

Is she edgy because she is a free spirit used to roaming where she wills?

Or has past traumas made her uneasy of what lurks behind the next moment?

She cries and she paces and if I try to sleep she is quick to awaken me.

Why is she afraid to be awake by herself?

I want her to know we were destined to travel this journey called life together.

Just as I tell myself now, I need her to know. Leave your past at the door…it serves you no purpose anymore.

What’s done is done. We can’t change the past so let it go.

We can’t let the past run our life, so let it go.

It may have ruined yesterday, but let’s not let it ruin today by reliving it. So let it go.

I give no guarantees about tomorrow, but I can give you.

Stay with me in the now, and I promise you…

Everytime it’s “now” and we have a situation…it will pass.

Every time it’s “now” and we have no situations, I promise you no pronlems.

How does that sound my new furry friend.

Stay with me kitty, and fear not, it doesn’t get any better than this.


Tranquility Pools



Tranquility Pools

What is this I feel in my heart
What is this I feel in my soul

The thrashing of the oceans have stopped
The crushing of waves against the cliffs have ceased

All this I carried within every part of me
Developed by pain, anger, resentment

At times the tides were so high twisting and turning
The great waters pulled me under with such force

Like what I carried inside me , it barely let me breath
As soon as I thought I conquered one trial
Another wave of tribulations came crushing over me

Sucking me under as I fought to regain my step
And I fought to regain my step and I fought to regain my step

And then as I turned the side of the cliff
The foam of the water turn crystal blue like glass

So still, so peaceful, so tranquil was this lagoon
My thighs still trembled from fighting the waves

So I layed back and allowed the drift bring me safely to shore
As the water cascaded rubbed against me so soft like a human hand
The gentle rocking of the water so close to a lullaby

Is this my reward?
This stillness of my mind?
the peace in my heart?
this wondrous feeling?

I don’t want to feel the anguish of the stormy waters anymore
I am done being angry and resentful and bitter and sad

But only I can take myself to the beautiful place of serenity, peace and joy.
It is my decision and it is pushing myself through the pain.

But it is hard, and it takes time
and at times you want to just want to give in
but just know if you keep getting up

It is true paradise….




It’s ok for your heart to ache sometimes

This is part of the grieving process

Without pain how could we compare joy

So I sit here with this pain and I let it settle

And I don’t think of it as the end of the world

Instead it is just a human feeling that I was given

Let it roll through my body from my stomach to my toes

That achy tightness and sadness that won’t let you go

For a moment I let it exhume me like the wave of the sea

I let the pain take over cleansing my pores letting me free

For when tomorrow comes and the sun shines it’s a new day

And let’s pretend we don’t feel a thing

Let’s pretend that our hearts don’t ache over him at all

We will walk with our heads held high and a spring in our step

And a smile that will brighten up the darkest of skies

Let’s pretend that we don’t care that our hearts break for him

Let’s pretend till we actually feel joy in our hearts

Let’s pretend…. Let’s pretend… Let’s pretend… Oh God…




The beauty of me is my loving heart

There is nothing stronger about me

My love is so powerful and so pure

I care to the depths of my soul

God gave me such an incredible gift

Just approach me and you will be pulled in

If asked, this is my greatest strength

Should I consider it a double edged sword?

For this strength is also my greatest weakness

A weakness that can cause me great pain

Dare I call it a curse or a gift

Loving too much or is it unconditional love?

I know it isn’t a desperate love

I feel healthy about the strength of my love

The man who ends with this love of mine

Will be the luckiest man alive…




A part of her yearns for beauty

To be the fairest of them all

Where does that come from

How does one tie beauty to love

Can beauty bring her love

Reality will tell her the truth

But the little girl still begs to differ

Never compare your daughters

Telling them ones beauty outshines the others

It’s such a burden to carry on

A lifetime of mirrors will follow her

And none will ever make her happy

But alas time to go find love

But wait…where’s her lipstick…




Romantically drawn to him no more

He killed my heart towards him

Severed the true love a wife should have

I know I could never be true to him any more

The look of discust on his face

As I cried out in pain

Sent up a metal wall around my heart

That will never let him in at all

That memory burns me without end

He declared the end of us to me

Then demanded me not to shed a tear

Calling me discusting and childlike

I sucked back every emotion like a breath of air

As if I was taking my last breath before I die

And in a sense I did

Any chances was put to death

That that dismal early morn

Life goes on and I have moved on

Now I see why life gave me such pain

A new life was waiting for me

Yet I wouldn’t change the pages myself

A new chapter has started

And it doesn’t include you

God did for me what I could not do for myself….




There was a time I could not see the beauty I possessed

There was a time I could not see all I could be

I gave you all the power to control how I felt about me

I was your puppet and you held my strings

But I gave you these strings willingly

You didn’t care for me so I why should I

I allowed you to make me hate who I was

The mirror lied to me and made me ill

I was a prisoner of my own negativity

I dreamt of being anyone except for who I was

God made a mistake I felt when he made me

But now I’ve been awaken from this horrible dream

For now I see what I have never seen before

A beautiful woman and it’s me

No man will ever tell me how to feel again

I have discovered this power has been mine all along

I never have to be anyone’s puppet ever again

Like a butterfly I have transformed into something more

Something my mirror never lies to anymore

They can call me anything from a boar to a troll

It doesn’t matter because I know I am so much more

Thank you God….If I forget, please remind me again…